Consider the husband who had promised his wife to replace the kitchen cabinets, but kept putting off the home improvement. The wife had to leave to care for her sick mother for two weeks and returned to find the new cabinets installed in the kitchen.
She was very pleased with the surprise, at least until a few days after her return, when a neighbor stopped by for coffee. After the wife praised her husband for finally installing the cabinets, the neighbor commented, "Yes, we were all very happy the fire damaged only the old cabinets."
Joy, anger, frustration, disappointment, care, concern, and many other emotions are all tied up in that incident. It often seems as if that is how it works with families: a blending of many, often contradictory, emotions and multiple responses to our families and the members of our families.
In many ways, what is involved is more than merely the people we happen to be related to in any of the ways we usually understand that term. Many years ago, a Hungarian was asked if he thought of the Russians, who had recently invaded his country to put down a bid for independence, as friends or brothers. His immediate response was that the Russians were his brothers. The response was so startling, the Hungarian was asked to explain further. He pointed out that relatives are simply a fact of life, but people choose their friends.
It is so very true. Our relatives and our family are most often not something we choose. It is something that happens to us as a part of our living. Family is a fact of our lives.
Paul certainly understood that point. Listen again to what Paul said. "I have great sorrow and anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my own people, my kindred according to the flesh."
Families can work that way. Parents, particularly parents of grown children, are quick to point out that just because their children have grown up doesn't mean that they stop thinking about the kids and worrying about what happens to them. Sometimes, it seems that parents with adult children are more concerned because they don't always hear about what is happening with the kids as frequently as they would like.
Most parents sound very much like Paul when it comes to the problems confronting their children. Most parents would gladly substitute themselves to endure the adversities that face their children. Even though we realize such substitutions aren't possible, we often find ourselves wishing, like Paul, that we could take the problems on ourselves, in the place of our family members. We wish those things happened to us "for the sake of my own people."
And who might be included in that term, "my own people"? Most individuals have a rough and ready definition in mind when asked about what constitutes a family member. Often this definition is expressed in terms of a "blood relative," a term that sounds very much like Paul's term, "my kindred according to the flesh."
Most people aren't aware that the term "blood relative" is often defined in the law. For example, in the state of Florida, a blood relative seems to be defined rather broadly. It includes people who might not normally be thought of, such as nieces and nephews and in--laws. Of course, the purpose of the law is not to provide an academic definition of the official limits of a family, but to define precisely who is considered a "blood relative" for specific legal purposes.
Most families seem to have some idea of who is really part of the family, and who is a member of the family only for some other reason. The boorish spouse, the cousin who is chronically broke, or perhaps the rather distant relative who showers only once a month and insists on long hugs whenever the family gets together are only a few examples of the folks who are often thought of as only vaguely part of the family.
Then there is the difficulty of the "black sheep" many families have as a part of their membership. The source of the designation varies greatly from family to family, but the result is often similar. Relations with the black sheep are usually strained, sometimes severed, on occasion to the point that the rest of the family changes its name to avoid any association with a black sheep who has become especially well--known or even infamous.
Sometimes the situation is based on our own misunderstanding of who is to do what in a family. This was certainly the case with two young girls walking home from Sunday school. One of the girls asked, "Do you think there is a devil?"
The other girl responded, "No, of course not. It's just like Santa Claus. He's really your father."
That is almost certainly a misunderstanding, not an accurate view, of a black sheep in the family.
The church has often been referred to as the family of Christ. And the church seems to come with the same problems and difficulties we find in our biological families. Joy, anger, frustration, disappointment, care, concern, and many other emotions are all part of our experience with families, and they are also part of our experience with the church family.
As much as we would like to believe that only the best parts of families are present in church, when we approach the point honestly, it is clear that some of the less savory aspects of families are also present on a regular basis. There are, unfortunately, gossips, boors, and other less desirable types in many congregations. There are, in the church family, some disagreements and arguments and even a black sheep or two. It is simply a fact of being part of the family of Christ.
There is a hint of such difficulties in the first verse of this lesson. Paul begins by insisting he is "speaking the truth in Christ - I am not lying; my conscience confirms it by the Holy Spirit." Not only does this opening suggest there might be rumors about Paul circulating in Rome and other places, but also that there is a strong possibility that Paul is seen as deserting his own people by his actions. Paul's defense, that he is speaking the truth, is bolstered by the witnesses he produces for the truth of what he is saying. As required by the Jewish law, Paul provides the names of two witnesses - the Holy Spirit and Christ. Even at the beginning, it would seem that life in the family of Christ was not quite as perfect as we might expect.
The situation is worse than that, for the difficulties are not limited to simply our congregation. They extend past our local boundaries to include the national church. More than that, we are related to all Christians, all around the world. We are all members of the family of Christ.
The story is even more inclusive than that. We stand in the line of all those who have borne the name of Christian. All those folks, who, for the last twenty centuries, have claimed to be followers of Christ, are part of the family.
Many people know some details about the history of their family. The grandparent who took part in World War II, the ancestor who was part of the Civil War, the first member of the family to come to North America can all be important people to remember and honor. Less important is the ancestor who abandoned the family, the bigamist, or the person sentenced to be transported for his crimes. Even if the less desirable ancestors are often the more interesting folks we find hanging off the family tree, they are only rarely the people we would want to hang out with for very long. Most families, if we only knew all the details, have both heroes and knaves among their members, both among the current generations and the ancestors.
Paul recognizes this issue in the conclusion of this lesson. In two brief verses he recounts the highlights the history of Judaism, "the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the worship, and the promises." And then he points out the event that should be the high point of that history, the coming of the long--awaited Messiah, who is born a Jew and comes first to the Jews.
This is a point made by both Jesus and Paul. Jesus came first to the Jews as the Messiah and proclaimed the kingdom to the chosen people. Of course, Jesus was not exactly what the Jews expected as a Messiah, so his coming was not recognized as clearly as it might have been.
His coming presents the Jews with a choice. They might either believe in the Messiah and follow his instructions, or they might turn their backs on him. By the time of Paul, the decision had largely been made. The majority of Judaism had turned away from Christ - thrown him out of their family, so to speak.
This rejection is the source of Paul's sorrow and anguish. The people who should have recognized Christ have turned their backs on him and his offer of salvation. Paul is greatly distressed by this decision. He makes it quite clear that he would do almost anything to make things different, but there is very little he can do.
In many ways, these last verses of the lesson sound rather foreign to us today. We are not Jews or former Jews, as many of the people of the church in Rome were. The highlights of Jewish history are only vaguely a part of our background. Rather, we usually focus on Christ as the center of our lives.
Before we dismiss this part of the verse as unimportant and unrelated to our situation, we should consider it in a little more detail. Rather than being literally applicable to our situation, consider it as a model which leads us to examine our heritage as Christians.
They are Israelites, those who have the name of the favored people of God.
We are Christians, those who bear the name of the Son of God.
To them belongs the adoption, those who were selected to be the chosen people.
To us belongs the adoption, which makes us part of the family of God.
To them belongs the glory of the shekina, the continuing presence of God among the chosen people.
To us belongs the glory of the promise of Christ, that he will be with us, always, to the end of the age.
To them belong the covenants of Noah, of Abraham, and of Moses.
To us belongs the new covenant of Jesus.
To them belongs the giving of the law.
To us belongs freedom from the law.
To them belongs the worship of God in the Temple.
To us belongs the worship of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
To them belong the promises - when God speaks and says, "I will be your God, and you will be my people."
To us belong the promise of Christ - to be equally with Christ children of God and participants in the kingdom.
To them belong the patriarchs.
To us belongs the apostles, the disciples, and the Son of God.
And to all of us, both the Jews and we Christians, belong the confrontation, the choice we face. Will we accept what God has promised us? Will we accept our adoption as children of God? Will we be a part of the family of Christ? Amen.
