Leaving, Uniting, Becoming One
Sermon
Wedding Sermons And Marriage Ceremonies
Hear these words from the first book in the Bible, Genesis, chapter 2, verses 18--24 (TEV):
Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him." So [God] took some soil from the ground and formed all the animals and all the birds. Then [God] brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and that is how they all got their names. So the man named all the birds and all the animals; but not one of them was a suitable companion to help him.
Then the Lord God made the man fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, [God] took out one of the man's ribs and closed up the flesh. [God] formed a woman out of the rib and brought her to him. Then the man said, "At last [or loosely translated, "Wow!"], here is one of my own kind - Bone taken from my bone, and flesh from my flesh. 'Woman' is her name because she was taken out of man." That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one.
It seemed like God had given the first man everything he needed - a nice place to live, interesting work to do. But that wasn't enough. Something was missing from his life - until God introduced the woman. Then he knew his search was over.
I realize this is a male--dominated story, but we're going to forget for the moment about who was made from whose rib and focus on that last verse, for that is the part that tells us what marriage is all about in God's view. "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one."
Leaving, uniting, becoming one - that is what getting married involves, (Bride) and (Groom). Did you realize you were doing all that?
The leaving may seem not to apply. You've both left your parents' homes and established your own independence. But there is another level of leaving that is considerably more challenging. It is when you begin to leave behind your old habits of relating to people. It's the question of who you turn to for emotional support, and even for fun. Are you learning to turn to one another first? Friends and family are great. We need them. They have helped to shape you into the persons you are standing here today. You won't ever stop loving these people and enjoying their company. But how you relate to them will change, for your primary loyalty is to each other now. You are leaving behind the patterns of your past lives to build this new life together.
That is possible because of all the excitement and challenge of uniting as a couple. There are so many ways your lives are being united: not only through your checkbooks, your furniture, and all your other physical belongings, but also through your dreams, your hopes for the future, your individual strengths and weaknesses - your lives.
As with the process of leaving the past behind, that kind of uniting does not happen overnight. Some days you will feel downright selfish, maybe even threatened - as if you might just lose your very self if you have to share one more thing. (I personally draw the line at toothbrushes.) But don't give up, for the reward for all the leaving behind and uniting is discovering the joy of becoming one.
This is not just a sexual oneness, though it includes that. It's not an emotional oneness, though at times you will feel emotionally very much in sync. When a couple becomes one, they begin to see themselves more as a team working together than as two individuals worrying about who is getting the most attention, the most power in decision--making, the most benefit from this marriage. Two become one when each partner thinks of the other person and what he or she needs before thinking of themselves. When each of you is giving 100 percent to the other, watch out! That is when rockets flare and love really blossoms!
So that is what God's idea of marriage is, (Bride) and (Groom). As you begin your married life together, look to God, the One who made you to love each other, and to Christ, who showed us what unselfish love looks like, and to the Holy Spirit, who gives us the power to love. May our gracious Creator God bless you with a long and happy marriage. Amen.
Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him." So [God] took some soil from the ground and formed all the animals and all the birds. Then [God] brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and that is how they all got their names. So the man named all the birds and all the animals; but not one of them was a suitable companion to help him.
Then the Lord God made the man fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, [God] took out one of the man's ribs and closed up the flesh. [God] formed a woman out of the rib and brought her to him. Then the man said, "At last [or loosely translated, "Wow!"], here is one of my own kind - Bone taken from my bone, and flesh from my flesh. 'Woman' is her name because she was taken out of man." That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one.
It seemed like God had given the first man everything he needed - a nice place to live, interesting work to do. But that wasn't enough. Something was missing from his life - until God introduced the woman. Then he knew his search was over.
I realize this is a male--dominated story, but we're going to forget for the moment about who was made from whose rib and focus on that last verse, for that is the part that tells us what marriage is all about in God's view. "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one."
Leaving, uniting, becoming one - that is what getting married involves, (Bride) and (Groom). Did you realize you were doing all that?
The leaving may seem not to apply. You've both left your parents' homes and established your own independence. But there is another level of leaving that is considerably more challenging. It is when you begin to leave behind your old habits of relating to people. It's the question of who you turn to for emotional support, and even for fun. Are you learning to turn to one another first? Friends and family are great. We need them. They have helped to shape you into the persons you are standing here today. You won't ever stop loving these people and enjoying their company. But how you relate to them will change, for your primary loyalty is to each other now. You are leaving behind the patterns of your past lives to build this new life together.
That is possible because of all the excitement and challenge of uniting as a couple. There are so many ways your lives are being united: not only through your checkbooks, your furniture, and all your other physical belongings, but also through your dreams, your hopes for the future, your individual strengths and weaknesses - your lives.
As with the process of leaving the past behind, that kind of uniting does not happen overnight. Some days you will feel downright selfish, maybe even threatened - as if you might just lose your very self if you have to share one more thing. (I personally draw the line at toothbrushes.) But don't give up, for the reward for all the leaving behind and uniting is discovering the joy of becoming one.
This is not just a sexual oneness, though it includes that. It's not an emotional oneness, though at times you will feel emotionally very much in sync. When a couple becomes one, they begin to see themselves more as a team working together than as two individuals worrying about who is getting the most attention, the most power in decision--making, the most benefit from this marriage. Two become one when each partner thinks of the other person and what he or she needs before thinking of themselves. When each of you is giving 100 percent to the other, watch out! That is when rockets flare and love really blossoms!
So that is what God's idea of marriage is, (Bride) and (Groom). As you begin your married life together, look to God, the One who made you to love each other, and to Christ, who showed us what unselfish love looks like, and to the Holy Spirit, who gives us the power to love. May our gracious Creator God bless you with a long and happy marriage. Amen.
