Life Demands a Decision
Sermon
GOD'S TWO HANDS
Sermons for Advent, Christmas and Epiphany
Nehemiah had returned from Babylon in the early fifth century B.C. He had permission to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. During the captivity the Children of Israel had suffered much confusion and much doubt. The door of hope was opening again. They had decisions to make: What would the new city be like? They were again ready for guidance and discipline. They wanted new life; they took the initiative. They gathered themselves together and spoke to Ezra the scribe: "Bring us the book of the Law of Moses, which the Lord hath commanded to Israel." (Nehemiah 8:1)
They were in dead earnest. As the Law was read they stood in the street before the Water Gate from morning until mid-day. As Ezra opened the book, the people stood up. And as he "blessed the Lord (Nehemiah 8:5) all the people answered, Amen. They bowed their heads and worshiped the Lord with their faces to the ground." (Nehemiah 8:6) The whole city was on tiptoe listening. "So he read the book of the Law of God distinctly and gave the sense, and caused them to understand the reading." (Nehemiah 8:8)
All this recognition of the authority of truth had a joyful ending. "Nehemiah ... said unto all the people, 'This day is holy unto the Lord your God; mourn not nor weep.' For all the people wept when they heard the words of the Law. Then he said unto them, 'Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the Lord is your strength." (Nehemiah 8:9-10) After understanding the way of Life, after commitment and obedience, there is the unspeakable joy of rightness and of life's zest. So there was celebration with the children of Israel - and there can be celebration with us, if by grace we meet the requirements of Life.
Once, long ago, out of my confusion and disobedience, I saw the truth. I surrendered to the Authority and the Love at the heart of the universe. I saw all of this in Christ. I was forgiven; I was a new person; I was at peace; I was full of joy. It works! Paul experienced this out-of-this-world experience on the Road to Damascus. John Wesley experienced it in a little prayer meeting on Aldersgate Street in London. Millions all over the world know this New Life. It is for everybody. God loves the world that much.
What is life all about? What is my life all about? Discover that in Faith. Commit yourself to it without reserve, and there will be an explosion of joy - joy with its ups and downs - eternal joy!
But as it was with the Children of Israel, so it is with us: life demands a decision. We choose between "God's two hands:" judgment or grace. In a quotation from The Tower of Babel, Morris West says it for us: "Sooner or later, believing or unbelieving, every man had to find one inch of soil on which he could stand and defy the world. Sooner or later, he had to say, 'This is all I know. It is not enough; but so be it!' ... and be prepared to live or die by the draw." Sooner or later, one must determine the set of his compass; one must pick out his guiding star. But we are a timid lot. As Michael Quoist would say, "I am afraid of saying 'yes,' Lord. Where will you take me? I am afraid of drawing the longer straw, I am afraid of signing my name to an unread agreement, I am afraid of the 'yes' that entails other 'yeses.' " The Children of Israel accepted the whole contract, and they got results.
This was the way Jesus went at life. He had made up his mind; he had surrendered totally to the Father; he knew where he was going, and why. Listen: "Jesus began to make it clear to his disciples that he had to go to Jerusalem and there to suffer much from the elders ... and be put to death." He knew that the end of this road was death, and yet he set his face steadfastly toward Jerusalem. Peter was the first dropout. He just didn't want anybody to get hurt. He didn't want anybody to be uncomfortable, so he said, "No, Lord, this shall never happen to you." And Jesus turned on Peter and said, "Get thee behind me, Satan ... you think as men think, not as God thinks." Jesus continued, "If a man will let his selfish self be lost for my sake, he will find his true self. What if he gain all the world, and lose himself? Can a man buy back his life after he has spent it?"
In this idiot world, a movie star cries out, "I want to live, live, live, and be happy; then ring down the curtain." But is it possible just to live, live, live, and be happy? Jesus knew that involvement was necessary to happiness, and he set his face steadfastly toward his destiny. In his commitment was his glory, and in his death was his life.
Ring down the curtain - but what happens after the show? Where do we go from here? Humanity's thoughts, alone, will not hold up. What if Peter had had his way? We are living now with a Simon Peter mind-set, a strange state, perhaps the final break-down before the great renewal. We do not want to be tied down. We do not want to make up our mind about anything. Many are afraid of the responsibilities of marriage, and instead seek love outside of marriage. Many do not want to commit themselves to work, to school, or to any particular way of life. We are at that final moment of collapse where we demand the rewards of the commitment of others, and will have nothing to do with the reward for the commitment of ourselves. This is our spiritual bankruptcy.
The Children of Israel made a commitment, and new life opened up. If we do not decide to what or to whom we will give our lives, events will decide it, and we might not like the results. In this confused, messed-up world, Christ is the only one I would dare to follow. I do not want to follow just anybody's interpretation of Christ. I want to dig into the New Testament and find who he is for myself. I want to know him in reality; I want to know him personally. I want to know his deep personal moral dedication and disciplined life; I want to know the depth of his prayer life in constant communication with the Father, from whom he gained his power and from whom he received his Love; I want to know the social thrust that carried Him daily into an immediate involvement with broken, sick, sinning individuals. I do not want to follow one-third a Christ; or two-thirds a Christ. I want to follow a whole Christ in his strength and guidance. The ultimate decision is daring to give myself to him, holding nothing back. Peter finally saw this and said, "To whom else can we go? Thou hast the words of eternal life."
After technology, what? After the Space Age, what? Beyond my hopes and dreams and successes and failures, what? Just death? The end of time? Nothing? Or a new beginning? Life, eternal life, begins with my decision here. It's true. Dare to risk it. There is nothing else. Life demands a decision! Do I climb the mountain, or wander in the valley?
Many young men coming home from military service miss the disciplined life. Being committed to life at its highest meaning is a little like navigating a raft through the Grand Canyon. All you can see is the angry spray of the rapids ahead; all you can hear is the roar of the cataract around the next thrn. But still, it is great to be committed to the rushing torrent, to be under high orders, to know that this is my call, to set one's face to go to "Jerusalem" because that is where my witness is, even if it means death and resurrection. Peter finally surrendered to the Call; he went the whole way. He became the leader of the breakthrough of new life into a new world - the dawn of the Kingdom of Christ. We, too, if we dare, in a full commitment to Christ, can become the leaders of the breakthrough in our moment of time. In high commitment, Christians will find a new depth of joy and love in fellowship: having the mind of Christ, they will be like-minded; under the sway of His Spirit their lives will be similar; their purposes will move in one great determined direction; their love will be genuine; and their witness to the world will be powerful and authentic. Yes, God's ways are harder than our ways, but they are far more exciting and far grander.
Commitment to Christ, in his commitment to the love of God, is not just hooking onto an eternal goal, way out yonder (as important as that may be). I want my future life assured. But it is also a way of life here and now, a commitment to the highest reality, that can transform you, transform your family, transform your nation, transform your world. For it is with God that we must deal, sooner or later. The Master of the universe is in charge. Inescapably we have to accept, or reject, the purpose of the universe as God translates it, in Christ, to every generation. But some of us have accepted a half-way commitment, and live in a schizophrenic brokenness, confused by a half-faith and frustrated by life.
Perhaps our greatest sin is that we would like to be true to the Spirit of Christ, but we are not ready yet. We put it off. We want a little more time; a little more money; a little more power; a little more freedom. In the meantime, the whole world collapses, time slips through our fingers, and life is wasting away in non-fulfilment. An old text, taught me by my mother, comes to me: "Seek ye the Lord while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near." The choice is not, life in the world; or life in Christ. It is precisely life in the world that becomes life in Christ, that is lived in the world, releasing God's love through us into the lives of others. The dying man on the road to Jericho (whom Jesus describes) has a great deal to do with our concern for poverty today. But we are slow to relate this truth to our situation. Even though there are roads to Jericho and wounded people all around us, we are slow to move first-century truth into twentieth-century application.
A friend of mine, a compassionate and effective minister of Christ, took the first century seriously and it worked. Time with God is the same in any century. My friend, in a written statement shared with me, tells of his call to preach, which came late, after a successful career as an engineer in a large industry. His young son died from a strange disease. During his year-and-a-half illness, this small boy had a deep spiritual influence over his father and mother. His father describes it: "One afternoon, while looking out of the window after he became physically crippled, he asked his mother to sit down with him for a minute, that he would like to talk to her. He told her not to be sad over his condition, that actually his illness was a wonderful thing. In his own words he said, 'I would never have had so much time to spend with God alone if I had remained well. It is so wonderful to talk to God and pray to him for other people. I do not pray selfishly, but that others may come to know my Lord.' "
The father continues, "His last days, with a glow of peace and happiness and victory on his face, revealed to me Christ-like qualities which up to this time were completely beyond my comprehension ... and I know the power of the glow in Stephen's countenance as he faced death. In this illness and death, I had witnessed a divine message, and my ever-present prayer was that I might know Jesus Christ in my own heart as this child did.
"As our son's body was leaving our home for the funeral service, I had a most frightening, terrifying experience. It appeared in the form of a vision ... my soul was caught in the grip of this agonizing experience, and so vivid and powerful was the encounter that I was completely oblivious to what was taking place at that time. The breaking of the last physical ties of our son with his earthly home, a moment I had dreaded, was completely overshadowed. The hours that followed are impossible to describe with my inadequacy of words. The Presence remained with me.
"The following day my wife had a vision or a persistent mental image of my kneeling before the cross of Christ. So great was my agony that she read to me the seventh chapter of Paul's letter to the Romans, and when she read 'O wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me from the body of this death?' I knew that was the authentic note. God had visited my soul during that agonizing hour. God in his severe mercy had spoken: severe in giving me an insight into the sinfulness of sin and his holy judgment on sin; merciful in reconciling me to himself and giving me a new life in Jesus Christ ...
"This was my conversion. Miracles today? Every conversion is a miracle. The transforming power of Jesus Christ is indeed a miracle. It is the most powerful and most real experience of my life ...
My faith rests upon this encounter with God. In this 'vision splendid' he touched my life with the precious love he holds for lost, hopeless sinners, after revealing his hatred for the sin which holds them in bondage. His power is awesome. But God's presence and his power did not stop at this point in my life. Almost immediately there began the paradox of happiness on the one hand; of turmoil within the soul on the other ... At the height of this turmoil, when it seemed that something had to be resolved, in reading the Psalms one morning at breakfast I read these words: 'wait on the Lord, wait on the Lord, I say.' The words hit. God is his infinite wisdom had spoken, but what was I to wait on? Did God have a particular mission for me in life?
"I had had a dynamic experience with God and it could not be contained. I had shared it with many friends and associates, my colleagues and supervisor ...
"In the spring of 1955 I became increasingly aware that this inner turmoil was associated with the question: 'What does God expect of me?' One day in May, 1955, this inner pain reached a climax. Something had to happen ... but the significant thing is that I had an inner dialogue with God in which I was told 'If I, your God, can direct the course of these small events and circumstances in your life, I will certainly direct the great and important things.' The tempo of this inner pain reached a new crescendo ..."
About this time my friend heard a powerful sermon on Jeremiah's call and his struggle with this call. He saw that the call "involves anxiety, danger, and fear" ... "After this message," he writes, "I was certain of my calling. God had supplied a crucial link at a crucial time in his long dialogue with me through this sermon. A tired and exhausted soul found rest and peace for the night.
"The pattern of my inner experience has been similar to Jeremiah's. There was the initial elation and joy, the 'almond branches' now that life had divine meaning. There were excuses - I was not worthy - I couldn't speak ...
"My faith is grounded on the dynamic conversion experience in which God visited my soul ... My faith is also grounded in the fact that God has led me step-by-step to the place where I now find myself, and I am convinced on the basis of these certainties that he will guide my destiny.
"I have not found the Christian life easy; neither do I expect it to be easy. My experience has been that of deep personal sorrow, long hours of anguished soul: yet in the Christian faith I have found the only true joy I have ever experienced.
"I am persuaded with the Prophet Jeremiah that 'the way of man is not in himself. It is not in man that walketh to direct his steps.' "
I know the ministry of this friend of mine. It has never wavered. His ministry has brought many persons to a vivid experience of Christ.
You see, he met God straight on in the Old Testament sense. God's two hands - judgment and grace - were presented. He felt the power of both. He made his decision. Life continues to flow through him to others.
Stanley Jones tells a meaningful story about two little boys going to the ocean for the first time. At the beach, they found a little backwash pond and, thinking this was the ocean, began to play in it, until one of them stumbled over a sand dune and beheld the ocean. He yelled back, "Come on Billy, that ain't the ocean, it's only a pond!" That's the picture. Many of us are still playing around in ponds, when the ocean is just beyond the ridge called "commitment." When you have experienced the ocean, as my minister friend had, you don't ever want to go back to the pond. There are a few dropouts among those who have got the feeling of a true experience with God. That is why we are here, to find the ocean and to help others find the ocean. It was with deep sadness that Jesus said, "Straight is the gate, and narrow is the way, and few there be that find it."
I do not commit my life to Christ because I am cornered and cannot escape. "A ray of light breaks through from Christ" into my consciousness, and I say, "That's it!" I see Christ, and I see God. I see myself, and I see life. I want this. I long for this. I have found the way home. The Spirit of God in me reaches out to the Spirit of God beyond me, and I rush to follow him in glad expectancy. On this experience of reality, the new man and the new humanity come into being. "Christ decodes the mystery" and the meaning of life's fulness: he is still the coming one.
So I give myself to him, whoever I am, wherever I am, whatever my sins and faults. I surrender everything to him, to be evaluated by him, lifted by him, cleansed by him. I am no longer afraid to say "yes." I wonder why I have fought against him for so long. I have found life here, the kind of life I had dreamed about. For me to live is Christ. He stands where the roads of history intersect.
He stands at the door and knocks. For God has made this world so that it can be opened only from inside the human heart. The universe is knocking at my door! Christ is waiting, waiting for the release of life in me and in my world, waiting for the computers to be committed, technology to be committed, nuclear power to be committed, all the energies of the New Age to be committed in love. And I, in my lack of commitment, stand between Christ and the redemption of the New Age. My time is running out. My days are being spent, my life coin is almost exhausted. "O, Christ, I yield; strengthen my heart to do thy will." I am snatched from the minimums of living into the maximums of living. I ride the plane to the end of the runway, and I am airborne; I find myself soaring into new dimensions of life. I choose Christ, even if he goes to Jerusalem, for true life lies beyond Jerusalem. I have found my true self in Christ. "O love divine, what hast thou done?" The hopes and fears of all the world be met in thee.
Israel, under Nehemiah, made the ultimate decision and found life. Today, we make the ultimate decision: We choose Life, or Death.
They were in dead earnest. As the Law was read they stood in the street before the Water Gate from morning until mid-day. As Ezra opened the book, the people stood up. And as he "blessed the Lord (Nehemiah 8:5) all the people answered, Amen. They bowed their heads and worshiped the Lord with their faces to the ground." (Nehemiah 8:6) The whole city was on tiptoe listening. "So he read the book of the Law of God distinctly and gave the sense, and caused them to understand the reading." (Nehemiah 8:8)
All this recognition of the authority of truth had a joyful ending. "Nehemiah ... said unto all the people, 'This day is holy unto the Lord your God; mourn not nor weep.' For all the people wept when they heard the words of the Law. Then he said unto them, 'Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the Lord is your strength." (Nehemiah 8:9-10) After understanding the way of Life, after commitment and obedience, there is the unspeakable joy of rightness and of life's zest. So there was celebration with the children of Israel - and there can be celebration with us, if by grace we meet the requirements of Life.
Once, long ago, out of my confusion and disobedience, I saw the truth. I surrendered to the Authority and the Love at the heart of the universe. I saw all of this in Christ. I was forgiven; I was a new person; I was at peace; I was full of joy. It works! Paul experienced this out-of-this-world experience on the Road to Damascus. John Wesley experienced it in a little prayer meeting on Aldersgate Street in London. Millions all over the world know this New Life. It is for everybody. God loves the world that much.
What is life all about? What is my life all about? Discover that in Faith. Commit yourself to it without reserve, and there will be an explosion of joy - joy with its ups and downs - eternal joy!
But as it was with the Children of Israel, so it is with us: life demands a decision. We choose between "God's two hands:" judgment or grace. In a quotation from The Tower of Babel, Morris West says it for us: "Sooner or later, believing or unbelieving, every man had to find one inch of soil on which he could stand and defy the world. Sooner or later, he had to say, 'This is all I know. It is not enough; but so be it!' ... and be prepared to live or die by the draw." Sooner or later, one must determine the set of his compass; one must pick out his guiding star. But we are a timid lot. As Michael Quoist would say, "I am afraid of saying 'yes,' Lord. Where will you take me? I am afraid of drawing the longer straw, I am afraid of signing my name to an unread agreement, I am afraid of the 'yes' that entails other 'yeses.' " The Children of Israel accepted the whole contract, and they got results.
This was the way Jesus went at life. He had made up his mind; he had surrendered totally to the Father; he knew where he was going, and why. Listen: "Jesus began to make it clear to his disciples that he had to go to Jerusalem and there to suffer much from the elders ... and be put to death." He knew that the end of this road was death, and yet he set his face steadfastly toward Jerusalem. Peter was the first dropout. He just didn't want anybody to get hurt. He didn't want anybody to be uncomfortable, so he said, "No, Lord, this shall never happen to you." And Jesus turned on Peter and said, "Get thee behind me, Satan ... you think as men think, not as God thinks." Jesus continued, "If a man will let his selfish self be lost for my sake, he will find his true self. What if he gain all the world, and lose himself? Can a man buy back his life after he has spent it?"
In this idiot world, a movie star cries out, "I want to live, live, live, and be happy; then ring down the curtain." But is it possible just to live, live, live, and be happy? Jesus knew that involvement was necessary to happiness, and he set his face steadfastly toward his destiny. In his commitment was his glory, and in his death was his life.
Ring down the curtain - but what happens after the show? Where do we go from here? Humanity's thoughts, alone, will not hold up. What if Peter had had his way? We are living now with a Simon Peter mind-set, a strange state, perhaps the final break-down before the great renewal. We do not want to be tied down. We do not want to make up our mind about anything. Many are afraid of the responsibilities of marriage, and instead seek love outside of marriage. Many do not want to commit themselves to work, to school, or to any particular way of life. We are at that final moment of collapse where we demand the rewards of the commitment of others, and will have nothing to do with the reward for the commitment of ourselves. This is our spiritual bankruptcy.
The Children of Israel made a commitment, and new life opened up. If we do not decide to what or to whom we will give our lives, events will decide it, and we might not like the results. In this confused, messed-up world, Christ is the only one I would dare to follow. I do not want to follow just anybody's interpretation of Christ. I want to dig into the New Testament and find who he is for myself. I want to know him in reality; I want to know him personally. I want to know his deep personal moral dedication and disciplined life; I want to know the depth of his prayer life in constant communication with the Father, from whom he gained his power and from whom he received his Love; I want to know the social thrust that carried Him daily into an immediate involvement with broken, sick, sinning individuals. I do not want to follow one-third a Christ; or two-thirds a Christ. I want to follow a whole Christ in his strength and guidance. The ultimate decision is daring to give myself to him, holding nothing back. Peter finally saw this and said, "To whom else can we go? Thou hast the words of eternal life."
After technology, what? After the Space Age, what? Beyond my hopes and dreams and successes and failures, what? Just death? The end of time? Nothing? Or a new beginning? Life, eternal life, begins with my decision here. It's true. Dare to risk it. There is nothing else. Life demands a decision! Do I climb the mountain, or wander in the valley?
Many young men coming home from military service miss the disciplined life. Being committed to life at its highest meaning is a little like navigating a raft through the Grand Canyon. All you can see is the angry spray of the rapids ahead; all you can hear is the roar of the cataract around the next thrn. But still, it is great to be committed to the rushing torrent, to be under high orders, to know that this is my call, to set one's face to go to "Jerusalem" because that is where my witness is, even if it means death and resurrection. Peter finally surrendered to the Call; he went the whole way. He became the leader of the breakthrough of new life into a new world - the dawn of the Kingdom of Christ. We, too, if we dare, in a full commitment to Christ, can become the leaders of the breakthrough in our moment of time. In high commitment, Christians will find a new depth of joy and love in fellowship: having the mind of Christ, they will be like-minded; under the sway of His Spirit their lives will be similar; their purposes will move in one great determined direction; their love will be genuine; and their witness to the world will be powerful and authentic. Yes, God's ways are harder than our ways, but they are far more exciting and far grander.
Commitment to Christ, in his commitment to the love of God, is not just hooking onto an eternal goal, way out yonder (as important as that may be). I want my future life assured. But it is also a way of life here and now, a commitment to the highest reality, that can transform you, transform your family, transform your nation, transform your world. For it is with God that we must deal, sooner or later. The Master of the universe is in charge. Inescapably we have to accept, or reject, the purpose of the universe as God translates it, in Christ, to every generation. But some of us have accepted a half-way commitment, and live in a schizophrenic brokenness, confused by a half-faith and frustrated by life.
Perhaps our greatest sin is that we would like to be true to the Spirit of Christ, but we are not ready yet. We put it off. We want a little more time; a little more money; a little more power; a little more freedom. In the meantime, the whole world collapses, time slips through our fingers, and life is wasting away in non-fulfilment. An old text, taught me by my mother, comes to me: "Seek ye the Lord while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near." The choice is not, life in the world; or life in Christ. It is precisely life in the world that becomes life in Christ, that is lived in the world, releasing God's love through us into the lives of others. The dying man on the road to Jericho (whom Jesus describes) has a great deal to do with our concern for poverty today. But we are slow to relate this truth to our situation. Even though there are roads to Jericho and wounded people all around us, we are slow to move first-century truth into twentieth-century application.
A friend of mine, a compassionate and effective minister of Christ, took the first century seriously and it worked. Time with God is the same in any century. My friend, in a written statement shared with me, tells of his call to preach, which came late, after a successful career as an engineer in a large industry. His young son died from a strange disease. During his year-and-a-half illness, this small boy had a deep spiritual influence over his father and mother. His father describes it: "One afternoon, while looking out of the window after he became physically crippled, he asked his mother to sit down with him for a minute, that he would like to talk to her. He told her not to be sad over his condition, that actually his illness was a wonderful thing. In his own words he said, 'I would never have had so much time to spend with God alone if I had remained well. It is so wonderful to talk to God and pray to him for other people. I do not pray selfishly, but that others may come to know my Lord.' "
The father continues, "His last days, with a glow of peace and happiness and victory on his face, revealed to me Christ-like qualities which up to this time were completely beyond my comprehension ... and I know the power of the glow in Stephen's countenance as he faced death. In this illness and death, I had witnessed a divine message, and my ever-present prayer was that I might know Jesus Christ in my own heart as this child did.
"As our son's body was leaving our home for the funeral service, I had a most frightening, terrifying experience. It appeared in the form of a vision ... my soul was caught in the grip of this agonizing experience, and so vivid and powerful was the encounter that I was completely oblivious to what was taking place at that time. The breaking of the last physical ties of our son with his earthly home, a moment I had dreaded, was completely overshadowed. The hours that followed are impossible to describe with my inadequacy of words. The Presence remained with me.
"The following day my wife had a vision or a persistent mental image of my kneeling before the cross of Christ. So great was my agony that she read to me the seventh chapter of Paul's letter to the Romans, and when she read 'O wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me from the body of this death?' I knew that was the authentic note. God had visited my soul during that agonizing hour. God in his severe mercy had spoken: severe in giving me an insight into the sinfulness of sin and his holy judgment on sin; merciful in reconciling me to himself and giving me a new life in Jesus Christ ...
"This was my conversion. Miracles today? Every conversion is a miracle. The transforming power of Jesus Christ is indeed a miracle. It is the most powerful and most real experience of my life ...
My faith rests upon this encounter with God. In this 'vision splendid' he touched my life with the precious love he holds for lost, hopeless sinners, after revealing his hatred for the sin which holds them in bondage. His power is awesome. But God's presence and his power did not stop at this point in my life. Almost immediately there began the paradox of happiness on the one hand; of turmoil within the soul on the other ... At the height of this turmoil, when it seemed that something had to be resolved, in reading the Psalms one morning at breakfast I read these words: 'wait on the Lord, wait on the Lord, I say.' The words hit. God is his infinite wisdom had spoken, but what was I to wait on? Did God have a particular mission for me in life?
"I had had a dynamic experience with God and it could not be contained. I had shared it with many friends and associates, my colleagues and supervisor ...
"In the spring of 1955 I became increasingly aware that this inner turmoil was associated with the question: 'What does God expect of me?' One day in May, 1955, this inner pain reached a climax. Something had to happen ... but the significant thing is that I had an inner dialogue with God in which I was told 'If I, your God, can direct the course of these small events and circumstances in your life, I will certainly direct the great and important things.' The tempo of this inner pain reached a new crescendo ..."
About this time my friend heard a powerful sermon on Jeremiah's call and his struggle with this call. He saw that the call "involves anxiety, danger, and fear" ... "After this message," he writes, "I was certain of my calling. God had supplied a crucial link at a crucial time in his long dialogue with me through this sermon. A tired and exhausted soul found rest and peace for the night.
"The pattern of my inner experience has been similar to Jeremiah's. There was the initial elation and joy, the 'almond branches' now that life had divine meaning. There were excuses - I was not worthy - I couldn't speak ...
"My faith is grounded on the dynamic conversion experience in which God visited my soul ... My faith is also grounded in the fact that God has led me step-by-step to the place where I now find myself, and I am convinced on the basis of these certainties that he will guide my destiny.
"I have not found the Christian life easy; neither do I expect it to be easy. My experience has been that of deep personal sorrow, long hours of anguished soul: yet in the Christian faith I have found the only true joy I have ever experienced.
"I am persuaded with the Prophet Jeremiah that 'the way of man is not in himself. It is not in man that walketh to direct his steps.' "
I know the ministry of this friend of mine. It has never wavered. His ministry has brought many persons to a vivid experience of Christ.
You see, he met God straight on in the Old Testament sense. God's two hands - judgment and grace - were presented. He felt the power of both. He made his decision. Life continues to flow through him to others.
Stanley Jones tells a meaningful story about two little boys going to the ocean for the first time. At the beach, they found a little backwash pond and, thinking this was the ocean, began to play in it, until one of them stumbled over a sand dune and beheld the ocean. He yelled back, "Come on Billy, that ain't the ocean, it's only a pond!" That's the picture. Many of us are still playing around in ponds, when the ocean is just beyond the ridge called "commitment." When you have experienced the ocean, as my minister friend had, you don't ever want to go back to the pond. There are a few dropouts among those who have got the feeling of a true experience with God. That is why we are here, to find the ocean and to help others find the ocean. It was with deep sadness that Jesus said, "Straight is the gate, and narrow is the way, and few there be that find it."
I do not commit my life to Christ because I am cornered and cannot escape. "A ray of light breaks through from Christ" into my consciousness, and I say, "That's it!" I see Christ, and I see God. I see myself, and I see life. I want this. I long for this. I have found the way home. The Spirit of God in me reaches out to the Spirit of God beyond me, and I rush to follow him in glad expectancy. On this experience of reality, the new man and the new humanity come into being. "Christ decodes the mystery" and the meaning of life's fulness: he is still the coming one.
So I give myself to him, whoever I am, wherever I am, whatever my sins and faults. I surrender everything to him, to be evaluated by him, lifted by him, cleansed by him. I am no longer afraid to say "yes." I wonder why I have fought against him for so long. I have found life here, the kind of life I had dreamed about. For me to live is Christ. He stands where the roads of history intersect.
He stands at the door and knocks. For God has made this world so that it can be opened only from inside the human heart. The universe is knocking at my door! Christ is waiting, waiting for the release of life in me and in my world, waiting for the computers to be committed, technology to be committed, nuclear power to be committed, all the energies of the New Age to be committed in love. And I, in my lack of commitment, stand between Christ and the redemption of the New Age. My time is running out. My days are being spent, my life coin is almost exhausted. "O, Christ, I yield; strengthen my heart to do thy will." I am snatched from the minimums of living into the maximums of living. I ride the plane to the end of the runway, and I am airborne; I find myself soaring into new dimensions of life. I choose Christ, even if he goes to Jerusalem, for true life lies beyond Jerusalem. I have found my true self in Christ. "O love divine, what hast thou done?" The hopes and fears of all the world be met in thee.
Israel, under Nehemiah, made the ultimate decision and found life. Today, we make the ultimate decision: We choose Life, or Death.
