Prohibitions And Invitations In The Sixth Commandment
Adult study
The Big Ten
Another Look At The Ten Commandments
There are many misunderstandings of adultery in our society. A little girl once asked her Sunday school teacher, "Do adults have as much fun in adultery as children do in childhood?" No, little girl, they don't. She misunderstood the meaning of adultery. Another child said, "The Sixth Commandment is 'Thou shalt not admit adultery.' "
In our day, many do not admit adultery. They think this Commandment no longer applies; anything goes between consenting adults. According to what is sometimes called "the new morality" in the area of sex, people can do whatever pleases them as long as they both agree to the act. According to ethical relativism, private sexual behavior is only the business of the people involved. This is not a new morality. It has been around as long as there have been people. Adultery is just as self-defeating today as it was when God gave the Sixth Commandment to Moses on Mount Sinai. It is easy to forget that those who break God's Commandments are broken by God's Commandments.
Adultery is generally defined as sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than his/her spouse, thus violating the marriage bed. The trouble with that definition is that it limits adultery to married people. Jesus widens the definition so that it not only includes infidelity by marriage partners, but lust as well.
Jesus speaks of adultery in terms of the heart. If you lust after a woman in your heart, he says that, too, is adultery. Jesus widens the approach to adultery (see Digging Deeper) to include lustful thoughts, premarital sexual acts, and extramarital sexual relations. In John 4:1-42, Jesus deals with a woman who had had five husbands and was then living with a man who was not her husband (John 4:17-18). Jesus offered her forgiveness which she accepted, but it is clear in the story that he does not accept cohabitation without the benefit of marriage.
Sexual sins, like all other sins, can be forgiven, but first we must see that what we have done is wrong and repent before God. That's where today's ethical relativism puts many people in serious danger. If you think that God's Sixth Commandment is just one opinion among many opinions, you will not admit your sin. You won't repent. But whether we like it or not, sexual intercourse, outside the fence God has placed around sex, is sin.
Prohibitions: God Has Placed A Fence Around Sex
God has placed a fence around sex. Within the fence of love, marriage, and fidelity, sex is not only a good thing, but a wonder-filled way to participate in the creation of a child with little eyes, ears, fingers, and toes. Within the fence of love and marriage, sex is a wonderful way to fulfill our physical and spiritual needs to intimately know another person.
In the Bible, to know another person means to have intimacy with them. In Genesis 4:1 we read that Adam knew his wife Eve. That means that they had intimate sexual relations. It was more than physical intimacy; it was spiritual intimacy as well. It is not by accident that the Bible urges us to know God. To know God means to have a spiritual, intimate relationship with him. Psalm 46:10 puts it this way: "Be still and know that I am God" (RSV -- emphasis mine).
Outside the fence that God places around sex, it becomes a destructive force to ourselves and others. Sex outside of marriage had caused untold misery for thousands upon thousands of people. Doesn't God know what he is doing when he puts sex inside the fence of love and marriage?
If a young woman has a beautiful prom dress, she wouldn't throw it in the mud and jump up and down on it, would she? If a young man went on an adventure and discovered a large and valuable gold nugget, he wouldn't make a common door knob out of it, would he? Neither does God intend for us to use our gift of sexuality in a dirty or common way. Sexuality is intended for two special, godly purposes -- first, to enjoy your spouse physically and spiritually; and second to produce children.
Some years ago, Dr. Edgar Carlson, then president of Gustavus Adolphus College, told a chapel gathering of college students about the meaning of the Sixth Commandment. He said,
Of course you can take the most precious things and make them cheap, if you want to. You can take the royal velvet of a king's robe and make carpet rags out of it, but who would? You can take a diamond-studded bracelet, and make a drawer pull for the kitchen sink out of it, if you want to, but who would? You can take a million dollar bond and buy a dollar watch with it, but who would do that except a fool who doesn't know the value of things? And you can take this intimate, personal and dedicated thing called sexuality which holds out the promise of being one of God's richest gifts to you and cash it in for a moment's sensual gratification, but who would be such a fool?
Inside the fence of love, marriage, and fidelity, sexual expression is a precious gift of God for a husband and wife to enjoy and use creatively. Outside the fence of love, marriage, and fidelity, the precious treasure turns into something ugly. Inside the fence, sex between husband and wife is holy; it is the fulfillment of the marriage vows to love and cherish. Outside this fence sex is unholy. Consider the diagram below. God is at the apex; the husband and wife at the other points in the triangular fence. (For a visual, see the book.)
God
Sex
Husband������������Wife
Extramarital and premarital sexual intercourse are outside the fence of honor for God and love and fidelity in marriage. God, who made us, knows what is best for us. Out of love, a wise mother tells her children not to put their fingers into the fire on the top of the stove. Out of love, a wise father tells his children not to run out in front of traffic on a super-highway. In like manner, out of love God tells his children not to take sexual intercourse outside the marriage relationship or they will get hurt. God knows better than we do what is best for us.
Non-marital sexual intercourse is outside the fence God has erected to protect us. So is lust.
Me, An Adulterer?
Some years ago I tried to teach a group of confirmation students that there is a difference between temptation and sin. I also tried to teach them that sex is a good thing, not a bad thing. I told them, "If you look at a pretty girl and admire her, that's not a sin."
"Wow," said a thirteen-year-old boy. "I didn't know that it was okay to look at a girl like that."
"But if you look too long, that is a sin," I quickly added.
"How long is too long?" he asked.
We don't know how long is too long, but we know you can look too long and that looking too long is lust. Martin Luther put it this way, "You cannot keep the birds of temptation from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your mind." In the area of sex, the birds of temptation all too often build their nests in our minds.
Jesus teaches that it is possible to lust after another person and thus commit adultery in the heart. In this way we are all adulterers. An adulteress was brought to Jesus by self-righteous sinners who were trying to trap him. These self-righteous men thought they had set the perfect trap. "What should we do with her?" they asked. According to the Law of Moses, she should be stoned to death. Jesus had a reputation for compassion and mercy. What would he do? If he said, "Set her free," his enemies would say, "He places himself above the Law of Moses." If he said, "Stone her," they would point out that he was a hypocrite for not showing mercy. A perfect trap.
Drawing with a stick in the sand, Jesus meditated for a few moments. Then he replied, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone." People quietly dropped their stones and left. Jesus and the woman were left alone. The woman trembled. "Has no one condemned you?" Jesus asked.
"No one, Lord," she replied.
"Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more."
Note three things in the story. First, sexual sins can be forgiven. The woman was freed from her sins. Some people carry their sexual sins on their backs all their lives, not acknowledging that they can be relieved by a simple, but sincere act of contrition.
Second, Jesus said that the woman should not continue in her sinful ways. It is as if he is telling her, "Don't put your hand in the fire or you will get burned. Don't run out on the road and stand there or you will get hurt."
Third, Jesus challenged those who condemned the woman. They, too, were sinful. Jesus knew that they were filled with lust. Casting stones in a self-righteous way is out of line because all of us can get caught in the web of lust. Some get caught in this web less frequently; some more frequently, but God knows all of our thoughts, both good and bad.
Whatever gets your attention, gets you. If you give your attention to sex in a distorted way, sex will turn on you and gain control over you. With the movies, magazines, and books of our time filled with pictures and stories of distorted sexuality, it is hard not to get caught in the trap. That is why we need to focus on the Lord first in our lives.
Unless that which is above you
Controls that which is within you,
That which is around you
Will.
-- Anonymous
The moral decay, ethical relativism, and permissiveness that fill our society present major challenges to all of us, especially youth who are looking for guidance and often not finding it in adults who do not admit their sinfulness.
A teenager sent me this anonymous poem:
Delinquent?
We read in the papers and hear on the air
Of killings and stealing and crime everywhere.
We sigh and we say as we notice the trend
"Are they all rebels, have they no end?"
But can we be sure it's their fault alone?
Maybe a part of it is also our own.
Are we the guilty who place in their way
Too many things that lead them astray?
Too much money to spend. Too much idle time?
Too many movies of passion and crime,
Too many children encouraged to roam,
By too many parents who won't stay at home.
Kids don't make the movies. They don't write the books.
They don't paint the pictures of gangsters and crooks.
They don't write magazines. They don't run the bars.
They don't make the liquor. They don't make the cars.
They don't peddle drugs that addle the brain.
That's all done by older folks greedy for gain.
By the law of the blameless the Savior made known
"Who's there among us to cast the first stone?"
For in so many cases it's sad, but true.
The title "delinquent" fits older folks, too.
-- Anonymous
We all are guilty of breaking the Sixth Commandment in our thoughts and by not showing the best examples of fidelity to the younger generation, but aren't there some positive things we can do to combat the sexual revolution all around us today? We can ask forgiveness for inappropriate deeds and thoughts. We can also seek to rebuild the Christian home today on the values of the Bible and prayerful, common-sense approaches to our spouses.
Invitations: Building Affair-proof Marriages
While there is no way to assure that a sexual affair will not happen in your family, there are some things that can be done to take the initiative against the sexual revolution that threatens family life today. In his book, His Needs, Her Needs,11 Willard F. Harley, Jr., a clinical psychologist, lists ways in which a husband should try to meet the needs of his wife and a wife should try to meet the needs of her husband. The first thing to do is identify these needs. Gary and Barbara Rosberg have a different list.12 Whether you agree or disagree with Harley or the Rosbergs, consider their lists as a starting point for conversations about this important subject.
His Needs
Harley
Gary and Barbara Rosberg
1.�Sexual fulfillment
1.�Unconditional love and
���acceptance
2.�Recreational
2.�Sexual intimacy
���companionship
3.�An attractive spouse
3.�Companionship
4.�Domestic support
4.�Encouragement and affirmation
5.�Admiration
5.�Spiritual intimacy
Her Needs
1.�Affection
1.�Unconditional love and
���acceptance
2.�Conversation
2.�Emotional intimacy
3.�Honesty and openness
3.�Spiritual intimacy
4.�Financial support
4.�Encouragement and affirmation
5.�Family commitment
5.�Companionship
Too many men think that women think like men think; too many women think that men think like women think. The lists provide a starting point for discussion between husbands and wives. Instead of trying to change one another, why not try to meet the needs of your spouse, before thinking of yourself? Dr. Harley says, "While most people would deny they could ever get involved in an affair, the hard truth is that, under the right (or wrong) conditions, any of us can fall victim, if our basic needs are not being met."
Questions For Your Personal Consideration And/Or Group Discussion
1.
What do you think about the fence of love, marriage, and fidelity that this chapter says God has placed around sex?
2.
Consider the statement, "Whatever gets your attention, gets you. Sex is a strong drive which easily gets our attention and can get us into trouble."
3.
Do you agree or disagree with the anonymous poem "Delinquent" in this chapter?
4.
Study the two lists of His Needs and Her Needs provided in this chapter. If you are in a group, you may want to follow the following suggestions. First, divide the group into men and women; then into smaller groups of four people in each gender group. Second, in each group of four women or four men have each person in each group write down what they think the needs of their own gender are, using the lists provided in this chapter. Third, have each group revise the list for their gender as they see fit. Fourth, have each small group of four discuss what they have written. Fifth, bring the whole group together for discussion.
5.
In a fifth-grade Sunday school class a little girl was asked about Lot's wife. She replied, "Lot's wife was a pillar of fire by day and a ball of fire by night." Discuss.
6.
Another child said, "A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony." Discuss.
7.
All of the Commandments are given to protect something.
The Sixth Commandment was given to protect ___________
___________________________. (fill in the blank)
8.
Consider the purpose of sex in marriage. Check the answers below you consider correct and add any additional answers you have.
a.
Procreation
b.
Enjoyment
c.
An expression of love as unity and intimacy, both physical and spiritual
d.
_____________________________________________
e.
_____________________________________________
9.
Seen on a billboard:
JUST WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ABOUT THESE WORDS, "THOU SHALT NOT"?
-- GOD
Digging Deeper
1.
When it comes to sexual sins, people often look for loopholes. Mel Kieschnick, who wrote the Introduction for this book, tells the story of W. C. Fields. When hospitalized, Fields, not a "churchgoer," was found reading the Bible. His friend said, "I didn't know you were so religious." "I'm not," Fields replied, "just looking for loopholes."
2.
Consider taking a group of people from an adult education class, a new members class or a fellowship group, or Bible study group on retreat to discuss the book His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley or The Five Needs Of Men And Women by Gary and Barbara Rosberg.
3.
Do you agree or disagree with Harley who says, "Once a spouse lacks fulfillment of any of the five needs, it creates a thirst that must be quenched. If changes do not take place within the marriage to care for that need, the individual will face the powerful temptation to fill it outside of marriage."
4.
Do you agree with Martin Luther's distinction between temptation and sin using the birds of temptation as an example?
5.
Has your church ever sponsored a marriage enrichment or marriage encounter retreat for couples? If not, would it help the couples in your church to go on such a retreat?
6.
Consider the following definition of adultery:
In a special sense, sexual intercourse of a married man with a female not his wife, or that of a married woman with a man not her husband. Under Mosaic Law, adultery was punished with death (Leviticus 20:10). In a general sense, it is all sexual impurity in thought, word, or deed. This is the sense in the Sixth Commandment, interpreted on the principles of the Sermon on the Mount (Exodus 20:14; Deuteronomy 5:18; Matthew 5:27-28). Figuratively, idolatry.
In our day, many do not admit adultery. They think this Commandment no longer applies; anything goes between consenting adults. According to what is sometimes called "the new morality" in the area of sex, people can do whatever pleases them as long as they both agree to the act. According to ethical relativism, private sexual behavior is only the business of the people involved. This is not a new morality. It has been around as long as there have been people. Adultery is just as self-defeating today as it was when God gave the Sixth Commandment to Moses on Mount Sinai. It is easy to forget that those who break God's Commandments are broken by God's Commandments.
Adultery is generally defined as sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than his/her spouse, thus violating the marriage bed. The trouble with that definition is that it limits adultery to married people. Jesus widens the definition so that it not only includes infidelity by marriage partners, but lust as well.
Jesus speaks of adultery in terms of the heart. If you lust after a woman in your heart, he says that, too, is adultery. Jesus widens the approach to adultery (see Digging Deeper) to include lustful thoughts, premarital sexual acts, and extramarital sexual relations. In John 4:1-42, Jesus deals with a woman who had had five husbands and was then living with a man who was not her husband (John 4:17-18). Jesus offered her forgiveness which she accepted, but it is clear in the story that he does not accept cohabitation without the benefit of marriage.
Sexual sins, like all other sins, can be forgiven, but first we must see that what we have done is wrong and repent before God. That's where today's ethical relativism puts many people in serious danger. If you think that God's Sixth Commandment is just one opinion among many opinions, you will not admit your sin. You won't repent. But whether we like it or not, sexual intercourse, outside the fence God has placed around sex, is sin.
Prohibitions: God Has Placed A Fence Around Sex
God has placed a fence around sex. Within the fence of love, marriage, and fidelity, sex is not only a good thing, but a wonder-filled way to participate in the creation of a child with little eyes, ears, fingers, and toes. Within the fence of love and marriage, sex is a wonderful way to fulfill our physical and spiritual needs to intimately know another person.
In the Bible, to know another person means to have intimacy with them. In Genesis 4:1 we read that Adam knew his wife Eve. That means that they had intimate sexual relations. It was more than physical intimacy; it was spiritual intimacy as well. It is not by accident that the Bible urges us to know God. To know God means to have a spiritual, intimate relationship with him. Psalm 46:10 puts it this way: "Be still and know that I am God" (RSV -- emphasis mine).
Outside the fence that God places around sex, it becomes a destructive force to ourselves and others. Sex outside of marriage had caused untold misery for thousands upon thousands of people. Doesn't God know what he is doing when he puts sex inside the fence of love and marriage?
If a young woman has a beautiful prom dress, she wouldn't throw it in the mud and jump up and down on it, would she? If a young man went on an adventure and discovered a large and valuable gold nugget, he wouldn't make a common door knob out of it, would he? Neither does God intend for us to use our gift of sexuality in a dirty or common way. Sexuality is intended for two special, godly purposes -- first, to enjoy your spouse physically and spiritually; and second to produce children.
Some years ago, Dr. Edgar Carlson, then president of Gustavus Adolphus College, told a chapel gathering of college students about the meaning of the Sixth Commandment. He said,
Of course you can take the most precious things and make them cheap, if you want to. You can take the royal velvet of a king's robe and make carpet rags out of it, but who would? You can take a diamond-studded bracelet, and make a drawer pull for the kitchen sink out of it, if you want to, but who would? You can take a million dollar bond and buy a dollar watch with it, but who would do that except a fool who doesn't know the value of things? And you can take this intimate, personal and dedicated thing called sexuality which holds out the promise of being one of God's richest gifts to you and cash it in for a moment's sensual gratification, but who would be such a fool?
Inside the fence of love, marriage, and fidelity, sexual expression is a precious gift of God for a husband and wife to enjoy and use creatively. Outside the fence of love, marriage, and fidelity, the precious treasure turns into something ugly. Inside the fence, sex between husband and wife is holy; it is the fulfillment of the marriage vows to love and cherish. Outside this fence sex is unholy. Consider the diagram below. God is at the apex; the husband and wife at the other points in the triangular fence. (For a visual, see the book.)
God
Sex
Husband������������Wife
Extramarital and premarital sexual intercourse are outside the fence of honor for God and love and fidelity in marriage. God, who made us, knows what is best for us. Out of love, a wise mother tells her children not to put their fingers into the fire on the top of the stove. Out of love, a wise father tells his children not to run out in front of traffic on a super-highway. In like manner, out of love God tells his children not to take sexual intercourse outside the marriage relationship or they will get hurt. God knows better than we do what is best for us.
Non-marital sexual intercourse is outside the fence God has erected to protect us. So is lust.
Me, An Adulterer?
Some years ago I tried to teach a group of confirmation students that there is a difference between temptation and sin. I also tried to teach them that sex is a good thing, not a bad thing. I told them, "If you look at a pretty girl and admire her, that's not a sin."
"Wow," said a thirteen-year-old boy. "I didn't know that it was okay to look at a girl like that."
"But if you look too long, that is a sin," I quickly added.
"How long is too long?" he asked.
We don't know how long is too long, but we know you can look too long and that looking too long is lust. Martin Luther put it this way, "You cannot keep the birds of temptation from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your mind." In the area of sex, the birds of temptation all too often build their nests in our minds.
Jesus teaches that it is possible to lust after another person and thus commit adultery in the heart. In this way we are all adulterers. An adulteress was brought to Jesus by self-righteous sinners who were trying to trap him. These self-righteous men thought they had set the perfect trap. "What should we do with her?" they asked. According to the Law of Moses, she should be stoned to death. Jesus had a reputation for compassion and mercy. What would he do? If he said, "Set her free," his enemies would say, "He places himself above the Law of Moses." If he said, "Stone her," they would point out that he was a hypocrite for not showing mercy. A perfect trap.
Drawing with a stick in the sand, Jesus meditated for a few moments. Then he replied, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone." People quietly dropped their stones and left. Jesus and the woman were left alone. The woman trembled. "Has no one condemned you?" Jesus asked.
"No one, Lord," she replied.
"Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more."
Note three things in the story. First, sexual sins can be forgiven. The woman was freed from her sins. Some people carry their sexual sins on their backs all their lives, not acknowledging that they can be relieved by a simple, but sincere act of contrition.
Second, Jesus said that the woman should not continue in her sinful ways. It is as if he is telling her, "Don't put your hand in the fire or you will get burned. Don't run out on the road and stand there or you will get hurt."
Third, Jesus challenged those who condemned the woman. They, too, were sinful. Jesus knew that they were filled with lust. Casting stones in a self-righteous way is out of line because all of us can get caught in the web of lust. Some get caught in this web less frequently; some more frequently, but God knows all of our thoughts, both good and bad.
Whatever gets your attention, gets you. If you give your attention to sex in a distorted way, sex will turn on you and gain control over you. With the movies, magazines, and books of our time filled with pictures and stories of distorted sexuality, it is hard not to get caught in the trap. That is why we need to focus on the Lord first in our lives.
Unless that which is above you
Controls that which is within you,
That which is around you
Will.
-- Anonymous
The moral decay, ethical relativism, and permissiveness that fill our society present major challenges to all of us, especially youth who are looking for guidance and often not finding it in adults who do not admit their sinfulness.
A teenager sent me this anonymous poem:
Delinquent?
We read in the papers and hear on the air
Of killings and stealing and crime everywhere.
We sigh and we say as we notice the trend
"Are they all rebels, have they no end?"
But can we be sure it's their fault alone?
Maybe a part of it is also our own.
Are we the guilty who place in their way
Too many things that lead them astray?
Too much money to spend. Too much idle time?
Too many movies of passion and crime,
Too many children encouraged to roam,
By too many parents who won't stay at home.
Kids don't make the movies. They don't write the books.
They don't paint the pictures of gangsters and crooks.
They don't write magazines. They don't run the bars.
They don't make the liquor. They don't make the cars.
They don't peddle drugs that addle the brain.
That's all done by older folks greedy for gain.
By the law of the blameless the Savior made known
"Who's there among us to cast the first stone?"
For in so many cases it's sad, but true.
The title "delinquent" fits older folks, too.
-- Anonymous
We all are guilty of breaking the Sixth Commandment in our thoughts and by not showing the best examples of fidelity to the younger generation, but aren't there some positive things we can do to combat the sexual revolution all around us today? We can ask forgiveness for inappropriate deeds and thoughts. We can also seek to rebuild the Christian home today on the values of the Bible and prayerful, common-sense approaches to our spouses.
Invitations: Building Affair-proof Marriages
While there is no way to assure that a sexual affair will not happen in your family, there are some things that can be done to take the initiative against the sexual revolution that threatens family life today. In his book, His Needs, Her Needs,11 Willard F. Harley, Jr., a clinical psychologist, lists ways in which a husband should try to meet the needs of his wife and a wife should try to meet the needs of her husband. The first thing to do is identify these needs. Gary and Barbara Rosberg have a different list.12 Whether you agree or disagree with Harley or the Rosbergs, consider their lists as a starting point for conversations about this important subject.
His Needs
Harley
Gary and Barbara Rosberg
1.�Sexual fulfillment
1.�Unconditional love and
���acceptance
2.�Recreational
2.�Sexual intimacy
���companionship
3.�An attractive spouse
3.�Companionship
4.�Domestic support
4.�Encouragement and affirmation
5.�Admiration
5.�Spiritual intimacy
Her Needs
1.�Affection
1.�Unconditional love and
���acceptance
2.�Conversation
2.�Emotional intimacy
3.�Honesty and openness
3.�Spiritual intimacy
4.�Financial support
4.�Encouragement and affirmation
5.�Family commitment
5.�Companionship
Too many men think that women think like men think; too many women think that men think like women think. The lists provide a starting point for discussion between husbands and wives. Instead of trying to change one another, why not try to meet the needs of your spouse, before thinking of yourself? Dr. Harley says, "While most people would deny they could ever get involved in an affair, the hard truth is that, under the right (or wrong) conditions, any of us can fall victim, if our basic needs are not being met."
Questions For Your Personal Consideration And/Or Group Discussion
1.
What do you think about the fence of love, marriage, and fidelity that this chapter says God has placed around sex?
2.
Consider the statement, "Whatever gets your attention, gets you. Sex is a strong drive which easily gets our attention and can get us into trouble."
3.
Do you agree or disagree with the anonymous poem "Delinquent" in this chapter?
4.
Study the two lists of His Needs and Her Needs provided in this chapter. If you are in a group, you may want to follow the following suggestions. First, divide the group into men and women; then into smaller groups of four people in each gender group. Second, in each group of four women or four men have each person in each group write down what they think the needs of their own gender are, using the lists provided in this chapter. Third, have each group revise the list for their gender as they see fit. Fourth, have each small group of four discuss what they have written. Fifth, bring the whole group together for discussion.
5.
In a fifth-grade Sunday school class a little girl was asked about Lot's wife. She replied, "Lot's wife was a pillar of fire by day and a ball of fire by night." Discuss.
6.
Another child said, "A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony." Discuss.
7.
All of the Commandments are given to protect something.
The Sixth Commandment was given to protect ___________
___________________________. (fill in the blank)
8.
Consider the purpose of sex in marriage. Check the answers below you consider correct and add any additional answers you have.
a.
Procreation
b.
Enjoyment
c.
An expression of love as unity and intimacy, both physical and spiritual
d.
_____________________________________________
e.
_____________________________________________
9.
Seen on a billboard:
JUST WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ABOUT THESE WORDS, "THOU SHALT NOT"?
-- GOD
Digging Deeper
1.
When it comes to sexual sins, people often look for loopholes. Mel Kieschnick, who wrote the Introduction for this book, tells the story of W. C. Fields. When hospitalized, Fields, not a "churchgoer," was found reading the Bible. His friend said, "I didn't know you were so religious." "I'm not," Fields replied, "just looking for loopholes."
2.
Consider taking a group of people from an adult education class, a new members class or a fellowship group, or Bible study group on retreat to discuss the book His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley or The Five Needs Of Men And Women by Gary and Barbara Rosberg.
3.
Do you agree or disagree with Harley who says, "Once a spouse lacks fulfillment of any of the five needs, it creates a thirst that must be quenched. If changes do not take place within the marriage to care for that need, the individual will face the powerful temptation to fill it outside of marriage."
4.
Do you agree with Martin Luther's distinction between temptation and sin using the birds of temptation as an example?
5.
Has your church ever sponsored a marriage enrichment or marriage encounter retreat for couples? If not, would it help the couples in your church to go on such a retreat?
6.
Consider the following definition of adultery:
In a special sense, sexual intercourse of a married man with a female not his wife, or that of a married woman with a man not her husband. Under Mosaic Law, adultery was punished with death (Leviticus 20:10). In a general sense, it is all sexual impurity in thought, word, or deed. This is the sense in the Sixth Commandment, interpreted on the principles of the Sermon on the Mount (Exodus 20:14; Deuteronomy 5:18; Matthew 5:27-28). Figuratively, idolatry.
