The Temptation Of Sally Vation
Drama
ThespianTheology
Lent/Easter
Saint Paul reminds us that "Satan disguises himself as an angel of light" (2 Corinthians 11:14) and he's very good at twisting scripture (Luke 4). And who's to say that the Holy Spirit couldn't appear in the form of a little old man like George Burns ... without the cigar?
Temptation is a serious subject, but a good George Burns impersonator could turn this into a lively learning experience. Have fun with it.
Cast
Narrator
Sally Vation
The Devil
The Holy Spirit
Ella Vation
Larry Lust
Chuck Cheatem
Props/Costumes
Two bar stools
The Devil -- well-groomed, well-dressed; carries Bible
The Holy Spirit -- drab suit, raincoat, hat; carries Bible
(Narrator is at podium, stage left. Two bar stools are at center stage. Sally Vation enters stage right and sits on floor at center stage, between bar stools)
Narrator: Meet Sally Vation ... Sally is a brand-new Christian --
Sally: (Stands up and recites the following, very fast) I confess with my lips (Points to lips) that Jesus is Lord, and I believe in my heart (Points to heart) that God raised him from the dead. (Sits down)
Narrator: Now, we all know that when someone gives their life to Jesus, there is rejoicing in heaven ... But there is one guy who does not rejoice ...
(The Devil enters stage right and sits on bar stool to Sally's left. He is handsome, well-groomed, and well-dressed)
Narrator: That's right, folks: The devil ... You were expecting maybe horns and a tail? Oh, no ... The devil can appear as an angel of light. And here he is, camped on our Sally's left shoulder ... But, as a Christian, Sally has a powerful resource ...
(The Holy Spirit enters stage left and sits on the bar stool to Sally's right. He is dressed in a drab suit/raincoat/hat, a la George Burns in the movie Oh, God!)
Narrator: The Holy Spirit!
Holy Spirit: You were expecting maybe Charlton Heston? I'm more comfortable as plain, old George Burns -- but without the cigar.
Narrator: Let's see what happens to our Sally as she faces the temptations of the world ... Ah, here comes Sally's sister, Ella ...
(Ella enters stage right and approaches Sally)
Ella: Hey, Sal! What's up, girl?
Sally: (Stands up) Oh, Ella! I've got the most wonderful news: I just met Jesus, and he changed my life!
Ella: You just met who?
Sally: Jesus! He made me a new creation, Ella ... and he can do the same for you --
Ella: Jesus? What would I want Jesus for? I kinda like me the way I am (Strikes a pose) ... I don't want to be a new creation, know-what'm-sayin'? Hey, listen, Sal: Some of the girls are throwin' a bachelorette party for Donna. Ya know -- one last fling before she ties the knot on Saturday. We've got some triple-x videos, and I hear that one of the male strippers from The Purple Onion is gonna make a special live guest appearance ... and he's really going to appear, know-what'm-sayin'? Come on along, Sal. We'll have a ball --
(Ella freezes during the next interchange; she does not see or hear Devil or Holy Spirit. Sally turns her head to listen to each speaker)
Devil: Go on, Sal ... It's just a little harmless fun. Enjoy yourself! (Picks up Bible) Why, the Bible says it is good and fitting to eat and drink and find enjoyment ... that's Ecclesiastes 5:18. And 1 Timothy 6:17 says that God richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.
Holy Spirit: Don't listen to him, Sally! He's twisting scripture again --
Devil: You hush up! (To Sally) Come on, now, Sal. Are you gonna listen to that ol' spoilsport, or are you gonna have some fun? And besides, goin' to that party might give you an opportunity to tell some more of your friends about (Makes a face) Jesus ... Didja ever think of that?
Holy Spirit: Who's he kidding, Sally? Nobody at a triple-x-rated bachelorette party wants to hear about Jesus. God's word says: "Do not be mismatched with unbelievers. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship is there between light and darkness?"
Narrator: So, what's it gonna be, Sally: triple-x lawlessness or God's righteousness?
Sally: (To Narrator) That's a no-brainer! (To Ella) Sorry, Sis. I just can't do that; Jesus wouldn't want me at a triple-x party ...
Ella: Girl, what's got into you? (Exits stage right, muttering to herself) Jesus! My sister's a nut-case ...
Narrator: Well, that one was a bit of a no-brainer, wasn't it? ... But look what we have here: another challenge! It's Sally's boyfriend, Larry Lust ...
(Larry Lust enters stage right; he runs to Sally and hugs her)
Larry: Sally, sweetheart! Ella just told me that you gave your life to Jesus: I think that's wonderful!
Sally: You do?
Larry: Of course I do, precious. I think it's wonderful for you ...
Sally: What about you, Larry?
Larry: Me?
Sally: Yes, you. Have you thought about giving yourself to Jesus, Larry?
Larry: Well, I'm not ready for that, darling. I think it's wonderful for you, precious ... but I'm just not the religious type, you know?
Sally: It's not about being religious, Larry ... It's about having relationship --
Larry: And speaking of relationships, my sweet, let's talk about our relationship: You do love me, don't you?
Sally: Oh, yes, Larry! I love you very much. That's why I want you to give yourself to Jesus --
Larry: I love you, too, Sally. I love you more than life itself ... And that's why I want you to give yourself to me!
Sally: But I am yours, Larry.
Larry: Not all the way, you're not, darling ... (Takes her hands and gazes soulfully into her eyes) You know what I'm sayin', sweetheart?
(Larry freezes during the next interchange. He does not see or hear Devil or Holy Spirit. Sally turns and listens to each speaker)
Devil: Well, go ahead, Sally ... You love him, don't you?
Sally: Yes, but --
Devil: But nothin', girl! Go for it! (Points to Bible) Hey, even God himself said that it wasn't good for a man to be alone, so he made a woman to be his partner and helper. Larry needs a partner and helper, Sal ... You can lead him to (Makes a face) Jesus!
Holy Spirit: There he goes again, twisting scripture! Sally, my dear, the Bible is very clear on this issue: "You shall not commit adultery."
Devil: Ah, but God is merciful and forgiving, Sal. He is faithful and just to forgive your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness ... (Points to Bible) Says so in 1 John 1:9 ... (To Holy Spirit) So, there, Mr. Know-It-All!
Holy Spirit: It also says, "Do not put the Lord your God to the test." (To Devil) That's Deuteronomy 6:16 and Luke 4:12; ... If you want to talk Bible here, pal, I'm ready for you: I wrote this book!
Devil: Oh, get a life, will you!
Holy Spirit: I have a life: eternal, abundant life ... How about you?
Devil: (To Sally) Don't pay any attention to old Mr. Party-Pooper there, Sal. You love Larry; be his partner and helper! Besides ... God'll forgive you.
Narrator: So, what's it gonna be, Sally: (Makes quotation marks with fingers) "Partner and helper" or God's righteousness?
Sally: (Looks longingly at Larry) This isn't easy for me to say, Larry, but I can't do that. Jesus doesn't want me to --
Larry: Jesus? What's he got to do with it? This is between me and you, honey! Do you love me, or don't you?
Sally: I love you, Larry, with all my heart. But if you really loved me, you wouldn't ask me to do this.
Larry: Well, if you really loved me, Sally, you'd prove it!
Sally: I am proving it, Larry: My answer is, "No."
Larry: Well, if that don't beat all! (Throws up his hands in disgust, and exits stage left) Jesus! My girlfriend's a Jesus-freak ... my ex-girlfriend, that is!
Narrator: Hmmm ... That was a tough one, huh? (Sally nods) Well, now look who's comin' down the pike: Chuck Cheatem, Sally's boss.
(Chuck Cheatem enters stage right)
Chuck: Sally, I'm so glad I found you! I need you to help us bring in an important new client. We've been asked to bid on the ad campaign for Extra-X Video Productions ... This could be the start of something really big for Cheatem, Bleedem & Billem!
Sally: Gee, I don't know, Mr. Cheatem --
Chuck: What's not to know? These guys are the major players in the adult entertainment market. If we land this account, it'll be Fat City time for us. (Pokes his finger at her) All of us, Sally!
Sally: But --
Chuck: But nothing! We've got to make our presentation on Sunday morning at the Extra-X Studios, and we need your help right away. Are you coming along, or do I go looking for another creative director?
(Chuck freezes during the next interchange. He does not see or hear Devil or Holy Spirit. Sally turns and listens to each speaker)
Devil: Look here, Sally: You've alienated your sister and lost your boyfriend. Are you gonna lose your job now?
Sally: But, I --
Devil: We're talkin' survival here, Sal! You've got no savings, and your credit cards are maxed out. You need this job to survive, babe!
Sally: But, I --
Holy Spirit: It is written, "One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord."
Sally: But, I --
Devil: Yeah, right! Try using (Makes quotation marks with fingers) "the words from the mouth of the Lord" to buy food and clothing and pay the rent, Sally! Get real, girl!
Sally: (Screams) Lord, h-e-e-l-p me!
Devil: I'm trying to help --
Holy Spirit: No, you're not, Satan ... And you just lost!
Devil: Whattaya mean, I lost?
Holy Spirit: Sally just called upon the name of the Lord ... and I will save her. And you've got to go, Satan ... Adios! (To Sally) You can talk to your boss now, Sally.
Sally: I'm sorry, Mr. Cheatem, but I guess you're going to have to look for another creative director. I can't do this ... the Lord wouldn't want me to.
Chuck: (Throws up his hands in disgust and exits stage right) God, I can't believe this! My creative director is a religious nut ... just what I need!
Devil: (Gets down from stool and follows Chuck) Hey there, bubba! Maybe I've got what ya need ... Can we do lunch?
Holy Spirit: (Takes Sally's hand as they exit stage left) Come along, dear ... My angels and I have what you need.
Temptation is a serious subject, but a good George Burns impersonator could turn this into a lively learning experience. Have fun with it.
Cast
Narrator
Sally Vation
The Devil
The Holy Spirit
Ella Vation
Larry Lust
Chuck Cheatem
Props/Costumes
Two bar stools
The Devil -- well-groomed, well-dressed; carries Bible
The Holy Spirit -- drab suit, raincoat, hat; carries Bible
(Narrator is at podium, stage left. Two bar stools are at center stage. Sally Vation enters stage right and sits on floor at center stage, between bar stools)
Narrator: Meet Sally Vation ... Sally is a brand-new Christian --
Sally: (Stands up and recites the following, very fast) I confess with my lips (Points to lips) that Jesus is Lord, and I believe in my heart (Points to heart) that God raised him from the dead. (Sits down)
Narrator: Now, we all know that when someone gives their life to Jesus, there is rejoicing in heaven ... But there is one guy who does not rejoice ...
(The Devil enters stage right and sits on bar stool to Sally's left. He is handsome, well-groomed, and well-dressed)
Narrator: That's right, folks: The devil ... You were expecting maybe horns and a tail? Oh, no ... The devil can appear as an angel of light. And here he is, camped on our Sally's left shoulder ... But, as a Christian, Sally has a powerful resource ...
(The Holy Spirit enters stage left and sits on the bar stool to Sally's right. He is dressed in a drab suit/raincoat/hat, a la George Burns in the movie Oh, God!)
Narrator: The Holy Spirit!
Holy Spirit: You were expecting maybe Charlton Heston? I'm more comfortable as plain, old George Burns -- but without the cigar.
Narrator: Let's see what happens to our Sally as she faces the temptations of the world ... Ah, here comes Sally's sister, Ella ...
(Ella enters stage right and approaches Sally)
Ella: Hey, Sal! What's up, girl?
Sally: (Stands up) Oh, Ella! I've got the most wonderful news: I just met Jesus, and he changed my life!
Ella: You just met who?
Sally: Jesus! He made me a new creation, Ella ... and he can do the same for you --
Ella: Jesus? What would I want Jesus for? I kinda like me the way I am (Strikes a pose) ... I don't want to be a new creation, know-what'm-sayin'? Hey, listen, Sal: Some of the girls are throwin' a bachelorette party for Donna. Ya know -- one last fling before she ties the knot on Saturday. We've got some triple-x videos, and I hear that one of the male strippers from The Purple Onion is gonna make a special live guest appearance ... and he's really going to appear, know-what'm-sayin'? Come on along, Sal. We'll have a ball --
(Ella freezes during the next interchange; she does not see or hear Devil or Holy Spirit. Sally turns her head to listen to each speaker)
Devil: Go on, Sal ... It's just a little harmless fun. Enjoy yourself! (Picks up Bible) Why, the Bible says it is good and fitting to eat and drink and find enjoyment ... that's Ecclesiastes 5:18. And 1 Timothy 6:17 says that God richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.
Holy Spirit: Don't listen to him, Sally! He's twisting scripture again --
Devil: You hush up! (To Sally) Come on, now, Sal. Are you gonna listen to that ol' spoilsport, or are you gonna have some fun? And besides, goin' to that party might give you an opportunity to tell some more of your friends about (Makes a face) Jesus ... Didja ever think of that?
Holy Spirit: Who's he kidding, Sally? Nobody at a triple-x-rated bachelorette party wants to hear about Jesus. God's word says: "Do not be mismatched with unbelievers. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship is there between light and darkness?"
Narrator: So, what's it gonna be, Sally: triple-x lawlessness or God's righteousness?
Sally: (To Narrator) That's a no-brainer! (To Ella) Sorry, Sis. I just can't do that; Jesus wouldn't want me at a triple-x party ...
Ella: Girl, what's got into you? (Exits stage right, muttering to herself) Jesus! My sister's a nut-case ...
Narrator: Well, that one was a bit of a no-brainer, wasn't it? ... But look what we have here: another challenge! It's Sally's boyfriend, Larry Lust ...
(Larry Lust enters stage right; he runs to Sally and hugs her)
Larry: Sally, sweetheart! Ella just told me that you gave your life to Jesus: I think that's wonderful!
Sally: You do?
Larry: Of course I do, precious. I think it's wonderful for you ...
Sally: What about you, Larry?
Larry: Me?
Sally: Yes, you. Have you thought about giving yourself to Jesus, Larry?
Larry: Well, I'm not ready for that, darling. I think it's wonderful for you, precious ... but I'm just not the religious type, you know?
Sally: It's not about being religious, Larry ... It's about having relationship --
Larry: And speaking of relationships, my sweet, let's talk about our relationship: You do love me, don't you?
Sally: Oh, yes, Larry! I love you very much. That's why I want you to give yourself to Jesus --
Larry: I love you, too, Sally. I love you more than life itself ... And that's why I want you to give yourself to me!
Sally: But I am yours, Larry.
Larry: Not all the way, you're not, darling ... (Takes her hands and gazes soulfully into her eyes) You know what I'm sayin', sweetheart?
(Larry freezes during the next interchange. He does not see or hear Devil or Holy Spirit. Sally turns and listens to each speaker)
Devil: Well, go ahead, Sally ... You love him, don't you?
Sally: Yes, but --
Devil: But nothin', girl! Go for it! (Points to Bible) Hey, even God himself said that it wasn't good for a man to be alone, so he made a woman to be his partner and helper. Larry needs a partner and helper, Sal ... You can lead him to (Makes a face) Jesus!
Holy Spirit: There he goes again, twisting scripture! Sally, my dear, the Bible is very clear on this issue: "You shall not commit adultery."
Devil: Ah, but God is merciful and forgiving, Sal. He is faithful and just to forgive your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness ... (Points to Bible) Says so in 1 John 1:9 ... (To Holy Spirit) So, there, Mr. Know-It-All!
Holy Spirit: It also says, "Do not put the Lord your God to the test." (To Devil) That's Deuteronomy 6:16 and Luke 4:12; ... If you want to talk Bible here, pal, I'm ready for you: I wrote this book!
Devil: Oh, get a life, will you!
Holy Spirit: I have a life: eternal, abundant life ... How about you?
Devil: (To Sally) Don't pay any attention to old Mr. Party-Pooper there, Sal. You love Larry; be his partner and helper! Besides ... God'll forgive you.
Narrator: So, what's it gonna be, Sally: (Makes quotation marks with fingers) "Partner and helper" or God's righteousness?
Sally: (Looks longingly at Larry) This isn't easy for me to say, Larry, but I can't do that. Jesus doesn't want me to --
Larry: Jesus? What's he got to do with it? This is between me and you, honey! Do you love me, or don't you?
Sally: I love you, Larry, with all my heart. But if you really loved me, you wouldn't ask me to do this.
Larry: Well, if you really loved me, Sally, you'd prove it!
Sally: I am proving it, Larry: My answer is, "No."
Larry: Well, if that don't beat all! (Throws up his hands in disgust, and exits stage left) Jesus! My girlfriend's a Jesus-freak ... my ex-girlfriend, that is!
Narrator: Hmmm ... That was a tough one, huh? (Sally nods) Well, now look who's comin' down the pike: Chuck Cheatem, Sally's boss.
(Chuck Cheatem enters stage right)
Chuck: Sally, I'm so glad I found you! I need you to help us bring in an important new client. We've been asked to bid on the ad campaign for Extra-X Video Productions ... This could be the start of something really big for Cheatem, Bleedem & Billem!
Sally: Gee, I don't know, Mr. Cheatem --
Chuck: What's not to know? These guys are the major players in the adult entertainment market. If we land this account, it'll be Fat City time for us. (Pokes his finger at her) All of us, Sally!
Sally: But --
Chuck: But nothing! We've got to make our presentation on Sunday morning at the Extra-X Studios, and we need your help right away. Are you coming along, or do I go looking for another creative director?
(Chuck freezes during the next interchange. He does not see or hear Devil or Holy Spirit. Sally turns and listens to each speaker)
Devil: Look here, Sally: You've alienated your sister and lost your boyfriend. Are you gonna lose your job now?
Sally: But, I --
Devil: We're talkin' survival here, Sal! You've got no savings, and your credit cards are maxed out. You need this job to survive, babe!
Sally: But, I --
Holy Spirit: It is written, "One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord."
Sally: But, I --
Devil: Yeah, right! Try using (Makes quotation marks with fingers) "the words from the mouth of the Lord" to buy food and clothing and pay the rent, Sally! Get real, girl!
Sally: (Screams) Lord, h-e-e-l-p me!
Devil: I'm trying to help --
Holy Spirit: No, you're not, Satan ... And you just lost!
Devil: Whattaya mean, I lost?
Holy Spirit: Sally just called upon the name of the Lord ... and I will save her. And you've got to go, Satan ... Adios! (To Sally) You can talk to your boss now, Sally.
Sally: I'm sorry, Mr. Cheatem, but I guess you're going to have to look for another creative director. I can't do this ... the Lord wouldn't want me to.
Chuck: (Throws up his hands in disgust and exits stage right) God, I can't believe this! My creative director is a religious nut ... just what I need!
Devil: (Gets down from stool and follows Chuck) Hey there, bubba! Maybe I've got what ya need ... Can we do lunch?
Holy Spirit: (Takes Sally's hand as they exit stage left) Come along, dear ... My angels and I have what you need.

