You Think I'm What?
Drama
Planting Seeds
A Collection Of Sermon Starter Sketches
Are you entitled to your employer's paper clips, cars, time, coffee, and pencils for your personal use? This man seems to think so. He is insulted (and extremely convicted) by the audience's perception that he is stealing. We hear his rationalizations.
Cast
A man (or woman) with the demeanor of one who knows he (or she) is doing wrong but refuses to admit to it.
Setting And Costumes
A desk is in the middle of the stage. On it are items that would be typically found on a desk in a workplace.
The man or woman wears a coat with large pockets.
Props
Desk
Briefcase
Pens
Pencils
Paper clips
Paper
Computer disks
Other work-desk items
(The employee is standing behind the desk. He or she is putting pens, pencils, paper clips, paper, computer disks, and so on, in a briefcase and in pockets. Finally picks up another pen, looks for a place to put it and sticks it behind ear. Looks up as if noticing audience.)
Oh, hi. (pauses and looks at audience with a guilty and then offended look) You think I'm what? Stealing? No! Stealing is taking things that don't belong to you. Believe me, this stuff is mine. I have a right to all of it, plus the desk light from the storage room and the can of coffee from the break room. (pauses to look at audience and then continues defensively) Well, we were out of coffee at home, and it's late. I don't want to stop at the store. Besides they have ten other cans here. If I don't get my coffee in the morning I'm useless until noon. If they expect me to show up here at eight in the morning, believe me, I need the coffee.
Talk about stealing, do you know how many years this company has stolen from my life? And it's been over two years since my last raise. You know, those (in an irritated tone) performance reviews? Everyone always has to check up on everyone these days. This time my boss said I don't use time productively. Last year it was too many personal phone calls and too many personal miles on the company car. Well excuuuuuse me for having a personal life. They give you a paycheck and think it gives them the right to tell you what to do.
Let me tell you, they'd be in big trouble if I ever left, but the only way I can afford to stay here is to (picks up more supplies and stuffs them into coat) increase my benefits. They should just be grateful I'm here at all. Without me they'd be losing money left and right. (begins to walk off stage with the load of supplies and then turns to assure audience of his/her innocence) I'm doing them a favor. Really.
Cast
A man (or woman) with the demeanor of one who knows he (or she) is doing wrong but refuses to admit to it.
Setting And Costumes
A desk is in the middle of the stage. On it are items that would be typically found on a desk in a workplace.
The man or woman wears a coat with large pockets.
Props
Desk
Briefcase
Pens
Pencils
Paper clips
Paper
Computer disks
Other work-desk items
(The employee is standing behind the desk. He or she is putting pens, pencils, paper clips, paper, computer disks, and so on, in a briefcase and in pockets. Finally picks up another pen, looks for a place to put it and sticks it behind ear. Looks up as if noticing audience.)
Oh, hi. (pauses and looks at audience with a guilty and then offended look) You think I'm what? Stealing? No! Stealing is taking things that don't belong to you. Believe me, this stuff is mine. I have a right to all of it, plus the desk light from the storage room and the can of coffee from the break room. (pauses to look at audience and then continues defensively) Well, we were out of coffee at home, and it's late. I don't want to stop at the store. Besides they have ten other cans here. If I don't get my coffee in the morning I'm useless until noon. If they expect me to show up here at eight in the morning, believe me, I need the coffee.
Talk about stealing, do you know how many years this company has stolen from my life? And it's been over two years since my last raise. You know, those (in an irritated tone) performance reviews? Everyone always has to check up on everyone these days. This time my boss said I don't use time productively. Last year it was too many personal phone calls and too many personal miles on the company car. Well excuuuuuse me for having a personal life. They give you a paycheck and think it gives them the right to tell you what to do.
Let me tell you, they'd be in big trouble if I ever left, but the only way I can afford to stay here is to (picks up more supplies and stuffs them into coat) increase my benefits. They should just be grateful I'm here at all. Without me they'd be losing money left and right. (begins to walk off stage with the load of supplies and then turns to assure audience of his/her innocence) I'm doing them a favor. Really.
