Love and Fear
Sermon
ROSES, RINGS & REJOICING
The verb or the noun ‘‘love" occurs in twenty-six of the 105 verses of First John. In all cases, it is the familiar root agape. The leading idea is that God is love by nature and that he revealed this by sending Christ into the world. (4:9) We are not love by nature, and therefore God loved us first. The measure of this love was the death of Christ on our behalf (3:16) and therefore the Father could call us children. (3:1) This makes possible our own response of love and so if we abide in love, we abide in God. (4:16) The writer does not allow us to remain misty-eyed over love, however, for he gives sharp content to the word. We love God by keeping his commandments. (5:3) We are to do rather than to feel. We are to believe in Christ and to love one another. (3:23) There are teeth placed in the command to love. If we do it, we are in the light (2:10); but if we don't, we live in the realm of death. (3:14) We cannot give equal billing to the world, for love of the world excludes the love of God. (2:15) If we won't love the brother whom we have seen, then we lie if we say that we love God whom we have not seen. (4:20)
We are commanded to love the brothers and sisters in the Lord in specific ways. We are to love them in deeds and not in pious words. (3:18) We are not to close our hearts to one in need. (3:17) As Christ gave his life for us, we are to be willing to give our life for another. (3:16) The result of this kind of love is confidence to face the Last Judgment (4:17) because love casts out fear. (4:18)
The idea of commanded love, which is stressed in this epistle, is alien to us, for we consider love to be an emotion. In Latin the heart came to be a symbol for emotions in general and love in particular, and found its way into our Valentine's Day cards. The Greeks knew that an emotion provides at best a slippery motivation for action, however, and they used the lower intestines as their comparable symbol. When the New Testament uses "heart" as a symbol it means the entire mind — the memory, the logical faculty, and the will. There may be feeling there, and we hope there is, but it is not pre-requisite to loving in the biblical sense. If our response of love is a matter of the will, then it is dependable over the long haul. When a man and woman fall "in love" the sky-rockets explode. When they decided to form a family before God, however, much more is involved than the sky-rockets. It is the will, and not emotion, which maintains a family over the years. They can continue loving even when they don't feel like it. First John does not use this particular verb of the love of man and wife, but in Ephesians 5:25 husbands and wives are to love each other as Christ loves the church. This had better be more consistent than the vagaries of our emotions, or else our future in Christ is not as secure as the New Testament claims.
It is appropriate to place ____'s and ____'s love for each other within the larger context of the interlocking areas of concern for God and the brothers and sisters in Christ. The essence of a marriage is their decision that they can live more effectively together than they can separately. In this chapel today we recognize three parties to this contract — God, the two of them, and the rest of us representing Christian society as a whole.
Listen to the words of 1 John 4:18: "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and he who fears is not perfected in love (RSV)." The point of this verse is that love and fear are incompatible. They do not mix any better than do oil and water. Love is the approach to the other out of desire for the good of the other. Fear is a shrinking away because of expected punishment. We cannot approach and hide in fear at the same time — to God, to the spouse, or to the brothers and sisters in Christ. Fear breeds suspicion and isolation and therefore hinders the growth of love. Either the fear or the love must win.
The "fear" of this verse is related to what is variously translated as "torment" or "punishment" or "judgment." The word originally means to cut back the growth of a tree or a bush by pruning. From this, it comes to mean cutting back bad behavior by corrective discipline. Parents and children train each other in this way, as do husband and wife, and so God corrects us. This word does not indicate punishment for its own sake, but corrective discipline. It is, therefore, a positive rather than a negative idea. When it is associated with fear, the fear is of rejection. The point of the verse is that if we love God, then we know that it is discipline intended to bring us closer to him. If we fear God, by contrast, we see it as ultimate rejection. For this reason the word in Matthew 25:46, its only other occurrence in the New Testament, means punishment in hell. The more we love God, however, the more we understand that God's purpose is discipline rather than rejection. Because of this, love conquers fear, but fear shows that the love is not yet perfect. In the same way, ____ and ____ will find it necessary to discipline each other as they live together. If they see it as punishment, they will fear each other and pull apart. But if, instead, by their love, they will see it as discipline, they will increasingly draw together.
This is the growth which is implied in 1 John 4:18. The better our love for God, the less the fear. This better love for God then allows us a better love for each other in Christ and for the two of them within the marriage bond. It is significant that love, rather than courage, is what conquers fear. We cannot be brave by an effort of will, but we can make a deliberate decision to love. The love of ____ and ____ for God has not yet been made perfect. Their love for the brothers and sisters is not yet perfect. And their love for each other is not yet perfect. But they have made a start in all three directions. There is, no doubt, still a remaining tinge of fear in all three relationships, but their on going life in the Spirit of God tips the balance more and more on the side of love. At the end, our prayer for them is that they demonstrate that "there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear."
— Charles E. Wolfe
Hampstead, Maryland
We are commanded to love the brothers and sisters in the Lord in specific ways. We are to love them in deeds and not in pious words. (3:18) We are not to close our hearts to one in need. (3:17) As Christ gave his life for us, we are to be willing to give our life for another. (3:16) The result of this kind of love is confidence to face the Last Judgment (4:17) because love casts out fear. (4:18)
The idea of commanded love, which is stressed in this epistle, is alien to us, for we consider love to be an emotion. In Latin the heart came to be a symbol for emotions in general and love in particular, and found its way into our Valentine's Day cards. The Greeks knew that an emotion provides at best a slippery motivation for action, however, and they used the lower intestines as their comparable symbol. When the New Testament uses "heart" as a symbol it means the entire mind — the memory, the logical faculty, and the will. There may be feeling there, and we hope there is, but it is not pre-requisite to loving in the biblical sense. If our response of love is a matter of the will, then it is dependable over the long haul. When a man and woman fall "in love" the sky-rockets explode. When they decided to form a family before God, however, much more is involved than the sky-rockets. It is the will, and not emotion, which maintains a family over the years. They can continue loving even when they don't feel like it. First John does not use this particular verb of the love of man and wife, but in Ephesians 5:25 husbands and wives are to love each other as Christ loves the church. This had better be more consistent than the vagaries of our emotions, or else our future in Christ is not as secure as the New Testament claims.
It is appropriate to place ____'s and ____'s love for each other within the larger context of the interlocking areas of concern for God and the brothers and sisters in Christ. The essence of a marriage is their decision that they can live more effectively together than they can separately. In this chapel today we recognize three parties to this contract — God, the two of them, and the rest of us representing Christian society as a whole.
Listen to the words of 1 John 4:18: "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and he who fears is not perfected in love (RSV)." The point of this verse is that love and fear are incompatible. They do not mix any better than do oil and water. Love is the approach to the other out of desire for the good of the other. Fear is a shrinking away because of expected punishment. We cannot approach and hide in fear at the same time — to God, to the spouse, or to the brothers and sisters in Christ. Fear breeds suspicion and isolation and therefore hinders the growth of love. Either the fear or the love must win.
The "fear" of this verse is related to what is variously translated as "torment" or "punishment" or "judgment." The word originally means to cut back the growth of a tree or a bush by pruning. From this, it comes to mean cutting back bad behavior by corrective discipline. Parents and children train each other in this way, as do husband and wife, and so God corrects us. This word does not indicate punishment for its own sake, but corrective discipline. It is, therefore, a positive rather than a negative idea. When it is associated with fear, the fear is of rejection. The point of the verse is that if we love God, then we know that it is discipline intended to bring us closer to him. If we fear God, by contrast, we see it as ultimate rejection. For this reason the word in Matthew 25:46, its only other occurrence in the New Testament, means punishment in hell. The more we love God, however, the more we understand that God's purpose is discipline rather than rejection. Because of this, love conquers fear, but fear shows that the love is not yet perfect. In the same way, ____ and ____ will find it necessary to discipline each other as they live together. If they see it as punishment, they will fear each other and pull apart. But if, instead, by their love, they will see it as discipline, they will increasingly draw together.
This is the growth which is implied in 1 John 4:18. The better our love for God, the less the fear. This better love for God then allows us a better love for each other in Christ and for the two of them within the marriage bond. It is significant that love, rather than courage, is what conquers fear. We cannot be brave by an effort of will, but we can make a deliberate decision to love. The love of ____ and ____ for God has not yet been made perfect. Their love for the brothers and sisters is not yet perfect. And their love for each other is not yet perfect. But they have made a start in all three directions. There is, no doubt, still a remaining tinge of fear in all three relationships, but their on going life in the Spirit of God tips the balance more and more on the side of love. At the end, our prayer for them is that they demonstrate that "there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear."
— Charles E. Wolfe
Hampstead, Maryland
