The Spiritual Struggle Of Sidney Centurion
Drama
ThespianTheology
Lent/Easter
What really happened to the centurion who presided over our Lord's crucifixion? According to both Matthew and Mark, the centurion confessed that truly Jesus was God's Son. Luke says that the centurion simply asserted Jesus' innocence. But what went on in the centurion's mind as he watched this innocent young Galilean rabbi suffer a horrific death, forgiving his torturers and mockers, and promising Paradise to a fellow victim?
Did the centurion return to his duties as if nothing had happened to him? Or was this experience a life-changing one?
And what about you and me? Do we go on about our business as if nothing happened, or does the passion and death of Jesus make a difference in our lives?
Cast
Narrator
Sidney Centurion
Seymour Centurion
Sammy Centurion
Props/Costumes
Sidney/Seymour/Sammy -- military garb of some kind
(e.g., helmets, camouflage gear, rifles, etc.)
(Narrator is at podium, stage left. Sidney, Seymour, and Sammy enter stage right and move downstage center)
Narrator: It's been a long, hard day for the centurions at the Roman garrison in Jerusalem ... Sidney, Seymour, and Sammy are unwinding at the Centurion's Club.
Seymour: Hey, Sid ... We hear you had a little trouble out there on Golgotha this afternoon.
Sidney: Whattaya mean, trouble? It was just another crucifixion.
Sammy: Well, I heard that this Jesus guy caused quite a spectacle: the sky got dark for three hours!
Sidney: Aaah, we just had a cloudy day, okay? Why're you guys makin' such big fuss about a little Jewish rabbit bein' executed?
Narrator: That's "rabbi," not rabbit.
Sidney: Whatever ... I'm just glad it's over. Crucifixions are such messy deals, know-what'm-sayin'?
Seymour: Yo, Sid, I heard that your detail really gave this Jesus guy the business, and he never said a word.
Sidney: Yeah, we beat him up pretty bad, I guess -- but it was only because the commander told me he wanted to make an object lesson out of this guy, so we wouldn't have to deal with any more of these phony Jewish messewers --
Narrator: That's "Messiah."
Sidney: Whatever ... Look, I don't understand these Jews, with their talk about blasphemy and all like that. And what's this stuff about only one God? That's weird, man!
Sammy: Hey, didn't this Jesus guy claim that he was a god?
Sidney: Yeah, somethin' like that. I think that's what got him in trouble with the religious mucky-mucks. That, plus the fact that he wasn't a real rabbit --
Narrator: Rabbi.
Sidney: Yeah, yeah ... He was just a carpenter from some little town in Galilee ... I guess he never went to (Makes quotation marks with fingers and glares at Narrator) "Rabbi" School -- so he was kind of an outsider.
Seymour: Hey, we can identify with that, huh?
Sammy: Whattaya mean, Seymour?
Seymour: Well, look at us. We're big-city guys from Rome, and we're stuck out here in this godforsaken desert outpost! The Jews hate us, our own enlisted troops hate us, and the Roman governor is always hasslin' us about stuff that we got no control over. This army life stinks, man!
Sidney: Aw, quit-yer-belly-achin', Seymour! We've got a pretty good life compared to some folks out here. Three hots and a cot is a heck of a lot more than that Jesus ever had, I'll tell ya that.
Seymour: Aha! Looks like our boy Sid was converted by this little rabbit --
Sidney: The term is rabbi ... Look, I'm not sayin' that I bought everything this guy Jesus was selling, but I have to admit he was a real man. We beat him, we made fun of him, we stripped him buck naked ... and the crowd was merciless. And the guy never uttered a word. No whines, no back-in-yer-face -- not a word! He was tougher than any drill sergeant I ever came up against in Centurion Basic Training, I'll tell ya that!
Sammy: So that makes him a god?
Sidney: I didn't say that, Sam. But do you know what he did while he was hangin' up there on that cross? The enlisted pukes were rollin' dice there on the ground to see who got to keep his robe ... And the people -- some of the same morons who were shouting, "Hosanna, praise the Lord!" when he rode into town the other day -- these people were making fun of him and calling him names. And what did Jesus do? He looked down at us and asked his God to forgive us. "Because they do not know what they are doing," he said.
Sammy: Wow! He really said that?
Sidney: Yep ... And then, one of the scum-bags who was hangin' up there on a cross next to Jesus started hassling him, and challenging him to prove that he was a god by saving himself and the whole lot of them. But then a funny thing happened: the guy on the other cross told his buddy to shut his face, and then he turned to Jesus and looked at him as if he was looking into the face of God. And this good-for-nothing bum just asked Jesus to "remember me when you come into your kingdom." And Jesus looked back at him, with what I can only describe as real compassion in his eyes, and said, "Today you will be with me in Paradise."
Seymour: Whoa ... "Compassion,"athe man says! Sam, I do believe our boy Sid has become a Jesus freak! You gonna start wearin' a camel's hair coat and munchin' on locusts, like that gonzo John the Baptizer, Sidney?
Sidney: Oh, give it a rest, Seymour! I don't know what I'm going to do ... But one thing I know: This Jesus didn't deserve to die. And I guess there are worse things to do than follow a man of such courage and compassion ... What do you think, Sammy?
Sammy: I think I'd like to hear a little more about this Jewish rabbit, Sidney.
Sidney: That's "rabbi,"aSam.
(Sidney and Sammy exit together, stage right)
Seymour: Losers! (Exits stage left)
Did the centurion return to his duties as if nothing had happened to him? Or was this experience a life-changing one?
And what about you and me? Do we go on about our business as if nothing happened, or does the passion and death of Jesus make a difference in our lives?
Cast
Narrator
Sidney Centurion
Seymour Centurion
Sammy Centurion
Props/Costumes
Sidney/Seymour/Sammy -- military garb of some kind
(e.g., helmets, camouflage gear, rifles, etc.)
(Narrator is at podium, stage left. Sidney, Seymour, and Sammy enter stage right and move downstage center)
Narrator: It's been a long, hard day for the centurions at the Roman garrison in Jerusalem ... Sidney, Seymour, and Sammy are unwinding at the Centurion's Club.
Seymour: Hey, Sid ... We hear you had a little trouble out there on Golgotha this afternoon.
Sidney: Whattaya mean, trouble? It was just another crucifixion.
Sammy: Well, I heard that this Jesus guy caused quite a spectacle: the sky got dark for three hours!
Sidney: Aaah, we just had a cloudy day, okay? Why're you guys makin' such big fuss about a little Jewish rabbit bein' executed?
Narrator: That's "rabbi," not rabbit.
Sidney: Whatever ... I'm just glad it's over. Crucifixions are such messy deals, know-what'm-sayin'?
Seymour: Yo, Sid, I heard that your detail really gave this Jesus guy the business, and he never said a word.
Sidney: Yeah, we beat him up pretty bad, I guess -- but it was only because the commander told me he wanted to make an object lesson out of this guy, so we wouldn't have to deal with any more of these phony Jewish messewers --
Narrator: That's "Messiah."
Sidney: Whatever ... Look, I don't understand these Jews, with their talk about blasphemy and all like that. And what's this stuff about only one God? That's weird, man!
Sammy: Hey, didn't this Jesus guy claim that he was a god?
Sidney: Yeah, somethin' like that. I think that's what got him in trouble with the religious mucky-mucks. That, plus the fact that he wasn't a real rabbit --
Narrator: Rabbi.
Sidney: Yeah, yeah ... He was just a carpenter from some little town in Galilee ... I guess he never went to (Makes quotation marks with fingers and glares at Narrator) "Rabbi" School -- so he was kind of an outsider.
Seymour: Hey, we can identify with that, huh?
Sammy: Whattaya mean, Seymour?
Seymour: Well, look at us. We're big-city guys from Rome, and we're stuck out here in this godforsaken desert outpost! The Jews hate us, our own enlisted troops hate us, and the Roman governor is always hasslin' us about stuff that we got no control over. This army life stinks, man!
Sidney: Aw, quit-yer-belly-achin', Seymour! We've got a pretty good life compared to some folks out here. Three hots and a cot is a heck of a lot more than that Jesus ever had, I'll tell ya that.
Seymour: Aha! Looks like our boy Sid was converted by this little rabbit --
Sidney: The term is rabbi ... Look, I'm not sayin' that I bought everything this guy Jesus was selling, but I have to admit he was a real man. We beat him, we made fun of him, we stripped him buck naked ... and the crowd was merciless. And the guy never uttered a word. No whines, no back-in-yer-face -- not a word! He was tougher than any drill sergeant I ever came up against in Centurion Basic Training, I'll tell ya that!
Sammy: So that makes him a god?
Sidney: I didn't say that, Sam. But do you know what he did while he was hangin' up there on that cross? The enlisted pukes were rollin' dice there on the ground to see who got to keep his robe ... And the people -- some of the same morons who were shouting, "Hosanna, praise the Lord!" when he rode into town the other day -- these people were making fun of him and calling him names. And what did Jesus do? He looked down at us and asked his God to forgive us. "Because they do not know what they are doing," he said.
Sammy: Wow! He really said that?
Sidney: Yep ... And then, one of the scum-bags who was hangin' up there on a cross next to Jesus started hassling him, and challenging him to prove that he was a god by saving himself and the whole lot of them. But then a funny thing happened: the guy on the other cross told his buddy to shut his face, and then he turned to Jesus and looked at him as if he was looking into the face of God. And this good-for-nothing bum just asked Jesus to "remember me when you come into your kingdom." And Jesus looked back at him, with what I can only describe as real compassion in his eyes, and said, "Today you will be with me in Paradise."
Seymour: Whoa ... "Compassion,"athe man says! Sam, I do believe our boy Sid has become a Jesus freak! You gonna start wearin' a camel's hair coat and munchin' on locusts, like that gonzo John the Baptizer, Sidney?
Sidney: Oh, give it a rest, Seymour! I don't know what I'm going to do ... But one thing I know: This Jesus didn't deserve to die. And I guess there are worse things to do than follow a man of such courage and compassion ... What do you think, Sammy?
Sammy: I think I'd like to hear a little more about this Jewish rabbit, Sidney.
Sidney: That's "rabbi,"aSam.
(Sidney and Sammy exit together, stage right)
Seymour: Losers! (Exits stage left)

