Who You Callin' A Big Baby?
Drama
Women In The Wings
20 Biblical Monologues
Making It Preach
This simple, dramatic exchange places a contemporary example of destructive disunity among younger generations (gang warfare) into the early Corinthian church, demonstrating how immature and deadly such conflict can be. This scenario still occurs in too many churches when certain people or ideas are worshiped above Christ, and evil has a field day! Paul spent much time trying to help the diverse populations within early Christianity focus on what unites, rather than what divides them. Today's churches would do well to chant together his words whenever conflict threatens: There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:28).
Making It Play
This scene should be played as a confrontation between a woman and her little (late teen or young adult) brother. Or, if a nephew would make more sense in your case, change the appropriate references. His words are assumed. Our speaker is steaming mad and quite comfortably pulls rank over this errant young man on behalf of his sick mother. Part of her frustration comes from her love for him and a desire to protect him and their emerging faith community. His hostile energy is barely contained, but it is no match for his sister/aunt, whom he recognizes as an authority figure and for whom he also feels affection. She should look at him as if he were sitting toward the front of the congregation: close enough for a one-on-one lecture, but far enough away to let the onlookers in on the action. A stola, the female alternative to a toga, simple jewelry, and sandals would be fine.
The Corinthian Conflict Described In Terms Of Gang Warfare
(voice calls from place unseen) Hey! Who you callin' a big baby? That would be you, Disciple Geek!
(running in, pulls invisible young man away from the window) What do you think you're doing? You want them to throw more rotten figs in here? It took us a week to get the smell out last time, and Mom is getting sicker every day. I'm sure she'd really enjoy that lovely aroma hanging over her mat!
(pause for his words that the congregation does not hear)
No -- don't even say it! What do you mean it wasn't your fault -- how were you tricked? Sit down. I said sit! It is high time you had a talking to, and I don't think Mom is in any shape to do it. Take that off. (swipes arm band) What is this arm band? Some kind of a sign that you're in the Jesus Kings? Oh, now I get it. The ones with the ankle bands must be the Apollos Disciples. This is just great! Our brave young men, the future of our faith, are becoming first-century gang bangers!
(pause)
No, you may not get up! You're not going anywhere! Look, I love you. You're my little brother, and I wouldn't let anything happen to you. But, I'm getting scared, here. We're lucky to find any kind of work at all in this town because of being followers of The Way of Christ. We get threatened at the synagogue, looked at funny on the streets; the heat is up high enough without you guys going at each other's throats over whether Paul or Apollos is right about how we should practice our faith. They are not Jesus!
(pause)
Maybe they didn't always agree about what Jesus said, but that's not as important as us sticking together with our eyes focused on the Lord. Is this what you would like Jesus to come back and find? Instead of love for one another, a bunch of arm and ankle bands? What's next? Are you going to start burning out our people's homes, all in the name of Christ? Come on! You know that wasn't Jesus' style, and it shouldn't be ours, either. Didn't you hear that letter from Paul read when we last gathered?
(pause)
Yes, I know you are standing up for Paul and trying to defend him to Apollos' crew, but you don't seem to remember the point of that letter. Paul didn't want us to be arguing with each other. He said that was a sign that we were still a bunch of big babies, spiritually immature. Now, it would be one thing if you were out there defending Christ to those who don't believe in him, but you're not. You're too busy fighting about which of his servants, Paul or Apollos, should be the authority. Why can't they both be?
(pause)
Yeah, you're right; this is Paul's ministry. Paul was first, but in his letter he went out of his way to say that he and Apollos are on the same team. You didn't hear that part of the letter, did you? You were too busy looking at Phoebe and Joanna across the street! (paces a bit to calm herself down -- notices the garden out back) Look out there. Paul compared us to a garden, like yours. He said that he came to plant the seeds about being saved by Jesus, then Apollos came to water those seeds, giving us additional guidance and encouragement. Wait -- let me finish! But, Paul, your great and glorious Paul, said that the growth comes only by God. Paul and Apollos were only doing the jobs God assigned them.
(pauses to take that in)
No, I don't think Apollos is coming back to do any more watering. Chloe just received a letter from Apollos saying that he is no longer planning his follow-up work here precisely because of the division he seems to cause. Apparently, he wasn't aware of how much charisma he's got. And, though I know this is going to get your goat, I can understand why people are so enamored with his preaching. You have to admit that man has been gifted by the Holy Spirit to proclaim the gospel! He speaks with such power that people are drawn to him and his message. He is interesting because he's different. He has those penetrating African eyes and the smooth voice of a trained orator. We don't hear that much around here! When he speaks, you can't help but pay attention, and it is so obvious he loves the Lord. We can feel that love when he teaches. It makes people that much more committed to changing the way they live so that they can be faithful followers of the Christ.
(pause)
Okay, maybe he doesn't do anything for you, maybe he bores you to tears, but that doesn't mean his teaching is bad. He did a lot to help our community grow. And, no matter what you think about his leadership, he is your brother in Christ, like Paul. So are the Apollos Disciples, ankle bands and all.
(pause)
So what if they were the ones throwing those rotten figs? If they did something to you, do you have to retaliate? Have you forgotten Jesus' teaching about turning the other cheek?
(pause)
No, you're right. You are not the Son of God, that's obvious. But, God loves you, anyway, and so do I. Come on. You don't need this arm band, do you? Please, I don't want to see you get hurt! Your little niece and nephews are going to need a loving, righteous uncle who can teach them to put Christ before loyalty to any person or religious ritual. Can I trust you to teach that? Huh? Yeah, I thought so. (looks at congregation) Can I trust you to teach that? (shaking head affirmatively) Yeah, I thought so! May the Spirit bless your teaching!
This simple, dramatic exchange places a contemporary example of destructive disunity among younger generations (gang warfare) into the early Corinthian church, demonstrating how immature and deadly such conflict can be. This scenario still occurs in too many churches when certain people or ideas are worshiped above Christ, and evil has a field day! Paul spent much time trying to help the diverse populations within early Christianity focus on what unites, rather than what divides them. Today's churches would do well to chant together his words whenever conflict threatens: There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:28).
Making It Play
This scene should be played as a confrontation between a woman and her little (late teen or young adult) brother. Or, if a nephew would make more sense in your case, change the appropriate references. His words are assumed. Our speaker is steaming mad and quite comfortably pulls rank over this errant young man on behalf of his sick mother. Part of her frustration comes from her love for him and a desire to protect him and their emerging faith community. His hostile energy is barely contained, but it is no match for his sister/aunt, whom he recognizes as an authority figure and for whom he also feels affection. She should look at him as if he were sitting toward the front of the congregation: close enough for a one-on-one lecture, but far enough away to let the onlookers in on the action. A stola, the female alternative to a toga, simple jewelry, and sandals would be fine.
The Corinthian Conflict Described In Terms Of Gang Warfare
(voice calls from place unseen) Hey! Who you callin' a big baby? That would be you, Disciple Geek!
(running in, pulls invisible young man away from the window) What do you think you're doing? You want them to throw more rotten figs in here? It took us a week to get the smell out last time, and Mom is getting sicker every day. I'm sure she'd really enjoy that lovely aroma hanging over her mat!
(pause for his words that the congregation does not hear)
No -- don't even say it! What do you mean it wasn't your fault -- how were you tricked? Sit down. I said sit! It is high time you had a talking to, and I don't think Mom is in any shape to do it. Take that off. (swipes arm band) What is this arm band? Some kind of a sign that you're in the Jesus Kings? Oh, now I get it. The ones with the ankle bands must be the Apollos Disciples. This is just great! Our brave young men, the future of our faith, are becoming first-century gang bangers!
(pause)
No, you may not get up! You're not going anywhere! Look, I love you. You're my little brother, and I wouldn't let anything happen to you. But, I'm getting scared, here. We're lucky to find any kind of work at all in this town because of being followers of The Way of Christ. We get threatened at the synagogue, looked at funny on the streets; the heat is up high enough without you guys going at each other's throats over whether Paul or Apollos is right about how we should practice our faith. They are not Jesus!
(pause)
Maybe they didn't always agree about what Jesus said, but that's not as important as us sticking together with our eyes focused on the Lord. Is this what you would like Jesus to come back and find? Instead of love for one another, a bunch of arm and ankle bands? What's next? Are you going to start burning out our people's homes, all in the name of Christ? Come on! You know that wasn't Jesus' style, and it shouldn't be ours, either. Didn't you hear that letter from Paul read when we last gathered?
(pause)
Yes, I know you are standing up for Paul and trying to defend him to Apollos' crew, but you don't seem to remember the point of that letter. Paul didn't want us to be arguing with each other. He said that was a sign that we were still a bunch of big babies, spiritually immature. Now, it would be one thing if you were out there defending Christ to those who don't believe in him, but you're not. You're too busy fighting about which of his servants, Paul or Apollos, should be the authority. Why can't they both be?
(pause)
Yeah, you're right; this is Paul's ministry. Paul was first, but in his letter he went out of his way to say that he and Apollos are on the same team. You didn't hear that part of the letter, did you? You were too busy looking at Phoebe and Joanna across the street! (paces a bit to calm herself down -- notices the garden out back) Look out there. Paul compared us to a garden, like yours. He said that he came to plant the seeds about being saved by Jesus, then Apollos came to water those seeds, giving us additional guidance and encouragement. Wait -- let me finish! But, Paul, your great and glorious Paul, said that the growth comes only by God. Paul and Apollos were only doing the jobs God assigned them.
(pauses to take that in)
No, I don't think Apollos is coming back to do any more watering. Chloe just received a letter from Apollos saying that he is no longer planning his follow-up work here precisely because of the division he seems to cause. Apparently, he wasn't aware of how much charisma he's got. And, though I know this is going to get your goat, I can understand why people are so enamored with his preaching. You have to admit that man has been gifted by the Holy Spirit to proclaim the gospel! He speaks with such power that people are drawn to him and his message. He is interesting because he's different. He has those penetrating African eyes and the smooth voice of a trained orator. We don't hear that much around here! When he speaks, you can't help but pay attention, and it is so obvious he loves the Lord. We can feel that love when he teaches. It makes people that much more committed to changing the way they live so that they can be faithful followers of the Christ.
(pause)
Okay, maybe he doesn't do anything for you, maybe he bores you to tears, but that doesn't mean his teaching is bad. He did a lot to help our community grow. And, no matter what you think about his leadership, he is your brother in Christ, like Paul. So are the Apollos Disciples, ankle bands and all.
(pause)
So what if they were the ones throwing those rotten figs? If they did something to you, do you have to retaliate? Have you forgotten Jesus' teaching about turning the other cheek?
(pause)
No, you're right. You are not the Son of God, that's obvious. But, God loves you, anyway, and so do I. Come on. You don't need this arm band, do you? Please, I don't want to see you get hurt! Your little niece and nephews are going to need a loving, righteous uncle who can teach them to put Christ before loyalty to any person or religious ritual. Can I trust you to teach that? Huh? Yeah, I thought so. (looks at congregation) Can I trust you to teach that? (shaking head affirmatively) Yeah, I thought so! May the Spirit bless your teaching!
