Login / Signup

Hoover Rupert

Hold down Ctrl (Windows) / Command (Mac) for multiple selections (scroll list to see all options)

Humor

SermonStudio

Offering -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
A certain church was taking a missionary offering. As the
Second Coming -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
A red Porsche convertible pulled up to the red light. Its
Unexpected Calls -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
Some years ago Dudley Ward and I were lecturing at a pastor's
Lies -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
Asked by his Sunday school teacher to define a lie, the boy
World Problems -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
The guy had been shipwrecked years before and had lived alone
Weather -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
A property survey was made of an old lady's property which was
Vocabulary -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
"Expedite: to compound confusion with commotion."
Viewpoint -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
Various viewpoints:His sister: "Oh, his nose is broken!"
Tongue Twisters -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
According to Guiness Book of Records, the worst tongue twister
Theology -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
The late Gerald Kennedy once told about an old lady who heard
T-shirts -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
"How Can I Fly Like An Eagle When I Have To Work With Turkeys?"
Sports -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about
Solomon Wisdom -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
The seven-year-old was taking care of his two-year-old
Sins And Sinner -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
The painter was supposed to use a quality paint in painting
Property -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
A tourist stopped by to watch a farmer who was erecting a
Parachutes -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
The small plane was carrying three passengers -- a Boy Scout,
Perfection -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
The legendary Ted Williams had had a particularly great day
Politics -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
The candidate had given a stirring but fact-filled speech. He
Prayer -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
A cartoon depicted a little fellow on his knees beside his bed
Preachers -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
A pastor was out calling on his flock. He came to one house
Rogers, Will -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
Some comments by Will Rogers:
Samaritans -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a lady by
Rules -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
A farmer was plagued with city folks trespassing on his land
Forgiveness -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
Two sisters kept up a feud in Scotland for 30 years. Alice
Reading -- Hoover Rupert -- 1994
A first grader reported to her mother that she found she could

Pages

UPCOMING WEEKS
In addition to the lectionary resources there are thousands of non-lectionary, scripture based resources...
Lent 2
30 – Sermons
160+ – Illustrations / Stories
30 – Children's Sermons / Resources
29 – Worship Resources
34 – Commentary / Exegesis
4 – Pastor's Devotions
and more...
Lent 3
29 – Sermons
160+ – Illustrations / Stories
27 – Children's Sermons / Resources
20 – Worship Resources
29 – Commentary / Exegesis
4 – Pastor's Devotions
and more...
Lent 4
34 – Sermons
160+ – Illustrations / Stories
32 – Children's Sermons / Resources
26 – Worship Resources
31 – Commentary / Exegesis
4 – Pastor's Devotions
and more...
Plus thousands of non-lectionary, scripture based resources...

New & Featured This Week

The Immediate Word

Dean Feldmeyer
Christopher Keating
Thomas Willadsen
Katy Stenta
Mary Austin
George Reed
For March 15, 2026:
  • Defenders or Warriors? by Dean Feldmeyer. “We are not defenders anymore; we are warriors.” — Secretary of War, Peter Hegseth, March 2, 2026

The Village Shepherd

Kit

Janice B. Scott
Call to Worship:
The man born blind told the Pharisees, "One thing I know, that though I was blind, now I see." In our worship today let us ask Jesus to help us see.

Invitation to Confession:
Jesus, sometimes I prefer not to see.
Lord, have mercy.
Jesus, sometimes I pretend not to see.
Christ, have mercy.
Jesus, sometimes I am not brave enough to see.
Lord, have mercy.

Reading:
John 9:1-41 (NRSV)

StoryShare

Sandra Herrmann
C. David Mckirachan
Contents
"The Christian Liar" by Sandra Herrmann
"But We Smell" by C. David McKirachan


* * * * * * * *


The Christian Liar

by Sandra Herrmann
1 Samuel 16:1-13
Keith Wagner
Contents
"Miracles of Sight" by Keith Wagner
"Trusting God in the Darkness" by Keith Wagner


* * * * * * *


Miracles of Sight
by Keith Wagner
John 9:1-41

SermonStudio

David O. Bales
Josiah Harlan was the first American to enter Afghanistan. He did so as a doctor with British Forces. We're not talking about the 1990s, but the 1830s. Harlan was a brilliant, self-absorbed adventurer who'd read a few medical books and passed a cursory exam to be an army surgeon. He later attempted to become an Afghan prince, leading his own army.
Frank Luchsinger
Pleasing the teacher. Paul writes to the Ephesians, "Try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord." Try to learn what is pleasing to the Good Shepherd, the Savior King, the Holy One, the Son of David, the Good Teacher/Rabbi. Sprinkled throughout the Gospels nearly seventy times, Jesus is referred to as rabbi or teacher. It is striking that in the garden as Mary encounters the risen Lord and he speaks her name, she responds, "Rab-eo'ni!" which means teacher. So Jesus, for many, was the good teacher, the good rabbi. And most of us gathered here know what it is to have a good teacher.
Richard E. Gribble, CSC
Once upon a time in a far-off land there lived a wise but old king. This monarch was very much beloved by his people, but alas he had no children, no heir to the throne. Because he did not want his kingdom to fall into the wrong hands after his death, the king decided to choose his own successor before he died. He had lived a long life and had done much reflection. He thought he knew what had gotten him to where he was and more importantly what would get his kingdom where it needed to be in the future.
Robert J. Elder
Not all the water in the rough rude sea
Can wash the balm from an anointed king.

- Richard II, William Shakespeare

How long will you grieve over Saul? I have rejected him from being king over Israel. Fill your horn with oil and set out.

Harry N. Huxhold
Sidney Sheldon repeatedly has given us evidence of his remarkable gift for weaving tales of the bizarre behavior of humanity bent on satisfying the self. His novel Tell Me Your Dreams involves a reach into what creates serious complications within the human mind and heart. David Singer, a young lawyer, is in conversation with Dr. Royce Salem, a psychiatrist. The case they are discussing is the person of a suspected serial killer, a client whom the lawyer is defending. Dr.
Richard E. Gribble, CSC
Anne Mansfield Sullivan was a miracle worker who overcame obstacles in seeking to assist others. Partially blind from birth, she managed to overcome this handicap and graduated from the prestigious Perkins School for the Blind in Boston. The miracle of Anne Sullivan's life, however, had very little to do with her own handicap, but it had everything to do with the multiple handicaps of a young girl. The miracle began to be manifest on March 2, 1887, when twenty--year--old Anne Mansfield Sullivan met six--year--old Helen Keller.
Dallas A. Brauninger
First Lesson: 1 Samuel 16:1-13
Theme: Looking On The Heart

Call To Worship
Leader: What would happen if we looked not only at the professional stature, economic standing, or physical being of those we meet?
People: What would happen if we were to greet others by looking on the heart?
Leader: If we did not look at the outward appearance, past history, or patterns of shortcoming?
People: If we were to weigh the threads of promise beginning to shape the fabric of a person?
All: Let us focus on the signs the heart offers.

Collect
Beverly S. Bailey
Hymns
God Of The Prophets (NCH358)
Gentle Shepherd (CBH352)
The Lord's My Shepherd (PH170, UM136, CBH578)
The King Of Love (PH171, UM138, CBH170)
My Shepherd Will Supply My Need (PH172, CBH589)
Savior, Like A Shepherd Lead Us (PH387, CBH355, UM381)
He Leadeth Me (UM128, CBH599)
Shepherd Me, O God (CBH519)
This Little Light Of Mine (CBH401, UM585)
Amazing Grace (PH280, UM378)
All Who Love And Serve Your City (PH413, UM433)

Emphasis Preaching Journal

The connection between sight and belief in Christianity is as old as the insistence of Thomas to see and touch Jesus' wounds in order to believe the wild story of his colleagues. Yet sight and faith might even be diametrically opposed to each other.
David Coffin
A group of younger workers are seated next to one another at a workplace where they have to deal with the public both person-to-person and over the telephone. They are having difficulty dealing with clients and customers who are older than they are in terms of communication skills, etiquette, and basic manners. These workers console one another once the older clients leave the office by criticizing the older people and trying to avoid them the next time. In the next office sits an older worker who is of the generation these younger workers are trying to avoid.

CSSPlus

Good morning, boys and girls. I brought with me a very beautiful flower in a flowerpot. (have the can covering the flower) Unfortunately, my flower is having a hard time growing. When I checked it last night it wasn't looking very healthy. Each night I remove the can and give the flower a good drink but it seems to be getting worse. I brought the flower with me this morning so that you could help me. Do you have any ideas for ways to make my flower grow again? (let them answer)
Good morning, boys and girls. Is there anyone here who is perfect? (let them answer) I have a friend who uses this cane. Do you know why he uses this kind of cane? (let them answer) That's right, he's blind. Do you think he is perfect? (let them answer)
Wildcard SSL